Glimpse

2010-05-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

To all readers, despite me writing this post, please know that I'm actually very busy with my upcoming exams and should really head to the books right now. But i'm just too bloody stressed up to get even more stressed.

So anyhow, although Aimi pointed out that I'm not even done with my first paper, yet I'm already dreaming of the future, honestly, whatever lah.

So here is my wish list for post A-levels/Kyuem:

1. Purchase a new pair of shoes. Possibly a comfortable walking shoes. Semi-stylish but still a day-to-day footwear.

2. Perhaps get a driving license? Kalau sempat lah. I actually wanted to say learn a new skill so driving IS a skill and it IS kinda essential.

3. Read a lot and A LOT of sappy romantic novels! Heck I haven't done that for so long. Since post-PMR? Post-UPSR?

4. Watch historical/myth documentaries on youtube or History Channel and wiki interesting issues. Just because I suck at history, it ain't mean that I shouldn't know it.

5. Memorise the 50 states of America, their location and their capitals? I've always wanted to but never had the time. I did attempted to once but I got distracted with something else and stopped. I know, I should really finish what I start. I kinda have that tendency to leave thing unfinished. SO, this time I'll start and complete it! Kalau tak capital, all 50 states and location pon jadilah. Along with it, i want to Learn all the countries in Asia and what language they speak. I mean bukan learn skali the language but just know what language they speak. It's kinda embarrassing that I can know almost all countries in Europe but I don't know all the countries in the continent which I reside in.

6. Basically, I want to go on an internet-articles shopping-spree. Politics, environmental issues, religious controversies. By the way, I know what I've listed is really lame and comical to some but the thing is that, there aren't many things that I can do so most of the things that I can do revolves me being at home because that's the place where I'll probably spend most of my time at. And besides, I really like reading about controversial issues.=p I guess, just like Mama loves Alien stuffs, i like semi-historical myths. so yeah whatever.=D

7. I want to go artistic! or maybe indie? ahahha. Well, I actually just want a camera. A Nikon DSLR?

8. An by the time I get to the UK(IF I do), I want a new phone. I kinda have my mind set on an Iphone simply because I think it's COOL and and has fun applications.

9. O yeah, I think this kinda should go at Number 2. I want to get a haircut. I'll keep it black this time.

10. JALAN-JALAN. MAKAN.

There, I 've finished my list. Time to study lah. Toodles.

2010-05-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I haven't posted anything for ages. Perhaps because I opened up a tumblr account so I've been expressing myself graphically instead of linguistically(is there such word?).

1. Life have been pretty hiccup-py these couple of weeks. By means academically, I honestly do not know where I stand. Some times I think I'm okay, sometimes I think otherwise so I basically have no idea what to think anymore. which is what I want to right now. Take thing optimistically, hope for the best, just do it and let it flow on it's own. If I succeed then good for me. If I don't then I'll think about it later.

2. I've also had stuffs of my mind lately. Uni accommodation, prom, my weight and some other matters. I've decided to opt for intercollegiate halls. Amirah and I have been really thinking this through thoroughly in and out. The reason to the the decision is that we honestly think we're too lazy to cooke everyday so in times of hungriness and laziness, we would just want to sit and eat.period. Besides, it's also more cost effective. Well technically, I'd agree that it would seem that opting for self-catered would save money but then when I looked and the brochure, the disparity in prices isn't really that great anway. If the house WAS way cheaper than a cost of a hall, it was because it's far from uni and even then you'd have to pay for transport everyday which in the end would sum up to the about the same figure anyway. So yeah. I hope I get to live in Connaught Hall.=)

3. Prom is on the 13th. Can't wait to dress up.

4. I'm sleepy.

2010-02-07T02:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I ask myself,

Do I deserve all that I have achieved?

all that I've attained?

Am I good enough for what I am now?

When I think of it, I am so blessed and have always been lucky in life.

I am not perfect. That I know.

I just feel that sometimes I get more than I should.

But honestly, am I worthy enough for all this good-comings?

Heat

2010-02-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

Bangsawan is coming up. As much I might regret saying this I am actually excitedly anticipating it. My department(backdrop) is coming along quite well. We might finish the second backdrop by tonight, which is super-dee coolness. The first one was completed yesterday. All thanks to Najib President Creative Club. What I'd do without you. Thank you. =)

Again, there is so much to do and so little time. Despite the fact that I only take 2 subjects now, I still feel that time is constantly scarce. In Economics, we might regard it as an autonomous cost. (Cost incurred even when output is nil).HAha!

Anyhow, the weather is terrible these days. Global warming is really pushing the temperature up to it's limits. I keep getting those heat migraines, which is bad because I can't concentrate well enough. And concentration is really important these days.

Fyi, May 18th is 103 days away. My heart skips a bit whenever I think about it. It's mentally excruciating I tell you.

That's all for now. cherioss.

I will stop eating.

2010-01-27T04:52:00.000-08:00

1. The whole week has been so hectic. So many things to do, presentations, tests and bangsawan shits. I have Stats presentation due next week. So I have to finish by hook or by crook this weekend. I have an econs test tomorrow and an econs presentation the next day. Then balik rumah!! yeayy!

2. Anyhow, results came in this week as well as another uni offer. woopiesss. Although my results were quite horrific, somehow it doesn't seem to bother me as much as I thought it would. I'm quite surprised myself. I expected for myself to at least cry for an hour or so. but no. not at all. This must be a blessing of reaching 20=). I don't want to further discuss about my results. I'm not at all proud of it. However, I did get an a for Econs. Hoorahhh!

3. I got my last reply from my unis yesterday. UCL! I really hope I can go there. I know I mentioned earlier that I'm not hoping for it but it seems like every time I don't hope for something, it comes true and when I really want something, I never get it. Like the fact that I really wanted to go LSE(though I don't really say it because I was afraid it'll go otherwise, which DID!) and I got rejected, sadly. And the time I really wanted to get at least a B for history but I got a __ instead.

4. I don't know why but I have this devilish grudge on girls who have it all. I hate them! I hate them! They're pretty,they wear nice clothes, they have the tiniest waist and beautiful smooth long hair. In short, they look like they came out right from a page of Seventeen. Not only that, they're so smart ,outspoken and friendly. OMG OMG, Lisa..... envy is one of the seven deadly sins. Stop it!

5. I have to stop eating. Yesterday, I ate too much, I woke up at 4.30 and spent more than an hour going back and forth to the bathroom just to puke. Even just now, by the second piece of chicken, I felt so full , I felt gagged. My body seem to be giving signals that I'm eating more than I should. I should respond to it. I have to eat less. Maybe not lose weight but just not bloat myself too much.

6. Got to study.BUbye!

Shining Star

2010-01-22T19:45:00.000-08:00

1. Another unsuccessful application. LSE oh LSE.*sigh*

So jealous of friends that have yet to receive declination letters.

2. Results is in 2 days. What will become of me?

3. I am dead scared of the the future that awaits me.

4. I am in college for the weekend. Rigorous kiasu-ing to do but the prospects of it seem so blurry and vague.

5. Yet to receive a reply from UCL. I guess I shouldn't be hoping too much. I'll be so depressed if I do.

6. I've always been lucky in these kind of things but the shining star always only appear at the epilogue of the storybook. But I'm starting to think that the shining start is starting to become a mere dull grey piece of rock.

7. For these past 2 weeks, I tend to encounter a lot of embarrassing moments. And Afro seem to always be there to witness my idiocy.

8. Short-run objectives: i. Get IELTS 7.5 with 7.0 in writing. ii. Not cry when receive results.iii. Get stats presentation done by the weekend. iv. Not being so gloomy all the time.

9. I need to shop! I'm running out of shoes! I want shoes that I fit! I want to be happy! I want money!

2010-01-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

First week in college was hectic enough I might say. I have much to catch up in all my subjects. I have a presentation about the UN peacekeeping force in any part of the world(Kammy and I picked Timor-Leste/East Timor). So basically we had to discus about why they are there, when? how did the crisis started in the host country etc etc. Quite interesting. I kinda like this topic. UNITED NATIONS. It's kinda inspiring me to join the UN one day. I know that's a bit far fetched for plain ol' me but again everything starts with a dream right? But first, I have some other dreams to accomplish. I want to to fly and complete my degree. Soon, I'll go to the states to do my Masters(insyaallah) and if possible a PhD. There are so many things I like, that I want to study. For instance, Anthropology! Mama says if wan knows, she'll probably think I'm crazy for wanting to sort of 'follow' atuk's footsteps.

Seriously people, I really think it's for me. I adore culture, I'm fascinated with language and literature(though I'm not any good in both the language that I know), I'm very interested in History(despite my weak arguments in essays). It has artistic values at the same time it calls for critical thinking. This is a calling I tell you! You never know, I might own a museum one day.=p As dull and un-glamour this 'calling' might be, it might just be the light at the end of the tunnel. This might actually work for me. I can already see myself. I'm boring enough to study something like anthropology, I'm opinionated and I respect cultures. I don't live a high-profile life but I am still pretty outgoing and confident with my ideas.

So I'm set, I will keep on loving art and culture and pursue my artistic interests as hobbies. I guess I figure that if I stop what I'm going and pursue art as a career, I wouldn't be able to do/study anything else. That's not what I want. Kalau dulu kat sekolah, cikgu2 selalu tekankan yang setiap pelajar harus jadi an all-rounded student. Perhaps, that's what I'm kinda doing. Akademik dijadikan priority no. 1, soft skills ialah bagaikan sugar icing dia atas kek as decoration to compliment the cake(frequently quote.d by Ms. Lai if anyone remembered)

Okay, enough dreaming! Toodles

2010-01-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

1. I'm back in college! It's been two days now. It has been fairly alright. Though, I have much to catch up and stuff, especially history. I'm so glad to see my friends after 7 weeks of lazying around at home. I didn't go out with them that much. Kinda menyesal now but what the hell, no use now. The past has passed.

2. Amirah and Syiqin hasn't returned yet at this current moment. So the chalet is very quiet! Hurry back my loves! I can't stand the quietness. I am deprived of noise! Haha. Amirah is still in the UK for her UCL interview. Hope she did well. As for Waeng, ada hal katanya.

3. The results are coming out on the 25th. Cibai! I want to get those As. I really really really hope I get an A for Econs. If not, I'll fall into a deep depression for the rest of my stay in bloody KyUEM. I guess a B in History wouldn't be surprising, since I did kind of screwed it up. Though I have to get a grade at least higher than before. If I don't.... owh I'd be damned... I must be be a complete idiotic dimwit. O God, I really want this. I really want those As.

4. Bangsawan is coming. That means it's going to be a hectic month. I still wish that it'll get canceled. Because I'm really lazy. I don't want to spend time on something that is wasting money and energy when that time spent can be used to do more beneficial stuff. This is a small preparatory college so it should act like one. Little mini events are great fun but a big grand one?Seriously? seemingly that everyone will go all out in the biggest event in college, it's going to be ever so busy! I hate this I hate this! I agree Bangsawan is super fun but I really don't need this right now.

5. I want to study very hard this semester! I will fly! MUST!

How RM2 saved my life

2010-01-05T04:33:00.000-08:00

Alright, before I forget about this unlucky unlucky day, I might as well write about it ASAP.

So today I had a statistics assignment to do with Faris. We had to find samples of people not/wearing watches. So I arrived at One Utama at 2. My phone had no credit so I walked to the Maxis shop to get a RM10 reload. As I reached into my bag to get a piece of 10 ringgit note, BAMMMM!!! , I realised I hadn't brought my purse! what the hell man, I didn't bring my purse? What kind of person forgets to brings his/her purse to a shopping complex. It's called a SHOPping complex HELLO! So there I was, alone with nobody I knew, without money, atm card, ic, and deprived of COMMUNICATION! What to do? what to do??

I thought of going to the garden outside to look into the pond if there's any lose change. Then I thought I could walk around to find someone I knew so I could borrow a phone. I searched and search for anybody I had gone to school with, knew at sekolah agama or even better, a relative, a cousin, neighbour, whatever. Nope, none. So I thought of approaching a random person and ask to borrow a phone or to give me some lose change. In the end, that was kinda what I did. I went to the nearest service counter, look at the receptionist lady deep into her eyes. "Kak, saya nak mintak tolong. Saya tertinggal ourse dekat rumah, and handphone saya takde credit. Saya takde sesiapa yang saya kenal. Boleh saya pinjam phone or syiling at least?"(I must've made the most pathetic innocent face I could make). So the lady of mid 20s grabbed her purse and handed me some shillings of RM2. I asked her where the nearest telephone booth was and off I went. Miss whomever you are, may God bless you. I am deeply grateful.

Later, I called Faris but he didn't answer so I called Fiq and asked him to text Faris so Faris could come and get me. Faris came 10 minutes later. Thankfully. I am saved!

Faris paid for everything today. Thank you Faris. I'll belanja you back bila-bila nanti.

So that was my story. What a pathetic day.

Sugar Sugar Sugar

2010-01-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

Cakes that I've baked for the past 6+ weeks.

1. Butter cupcakes(4X)

First attempt was horrendous. Idiotic-ly, I didn't use a cupcake placeholder tray thingy so my cupcakes came out in to most erratic shapes. Second attempt, I was much bijak so I bought a cupcake tray, cupcakes came out much nicer. The third and forth was pretty alright. Thought I wish I could make them richer and moister.

2. Butter cake(2X)

Tasted exactly like the cupcakes I made. Naturally.. duhhh. since it was the same recipe.

3. Chocoloate cake

Honestly, I didn't like it. It tasted un-chocolaty. Luqman kept saying how I should use only expensive chocolates.

4. Choc cupcake(2X)

I hated it.

5. Pavlova

It was pretty alright. One of the cakes that Luqman loved.

6. Brownies(2X)

First attempt, it ended up as a chocolate cake,not brownies. Second attempt was much better. Finished the next day.

7. Orange Butter Meringue Cake

My own recipe. Wan said it was good. "Something different" Ayah said. It's a soft and sweet cake with a tinge of an orange taste.

8. Flourless Chocloate Cake

The most ugliest cake I baked so far. But Mama liked it, so did Luqman. To me, it tasted like chocolate pudding. I guess it's something that I should try again and perfecten.

9. Carrot Cake.

Baked it yesterday. It took the longesst time to bake. I thought that I had done something wrong. Then the icing went wrong pulak. cibai. I googled the reason and it said if I use Philadelphia cream cheese, the effect would be that the icing will be a bit watery; hence, difficult to pipe. But today, after it being refrigerated, it tasted much better. Though still, the icing is cair. Gonna have to work on that. I'll try using cottage cheese or a more solid cream cheese. Anyhow, the worst experience when baking this cake is the smell of cooked carrots once it's blended. Fyi, I hate carrots. Don't get me wrong, I love Carrot Cakes!

Untitled

2010-01-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

A time before Romeo & Juliet

2010-01-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

"There she who bore you brought you forth set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon you arm for love is as strong as death. "

Song of Solomon

**********

Tristan: Come with me. COME WITH ME!

Isolde: I can't.

Tristan: Why not? ..Please..

Isolde: Tristan, we both know this can't be. We've known in from the start. That doesn't mean it isn't true. It is. It just cannot be. I want to know that you're alive somewhere thinking of me from time to time. I want to know that there's more to this life and I can't know that if they kill you. Please... Go...

**********

Tristan: I live in torture thinking of these moments. Every look he gives you I get sicker and sicker. There's a burning in me, I feel on fire and a guilt I can't comidify. Does it make you happy to know that?

**********

Isolde: How many did you loved before me?

Tristan: None.

Isolde: And after me?

Tristan: None.

***********

Isolde: Know that I loved you Tristan. Where ever you go, whatever you see, I will always be with you

Tristan: You were right. I don't know whether life was greater than death but love was more than either.

************

"I wonder by my troth, what thou and I Did, till we loved? were we not wean'd till then? But suck'd on country pleasures, childishly? Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den? 'Twas so ; but this, all pleasures fancies be ; If ever any beauty I did see, Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee. And now good-morrow to our waking souls, Which watch not one another out of fear ; For love all love of other sights controls, And makes one little room an everywhere. Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone ; Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown ; Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one. My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears, And true plain hearts do in the faces rest; Where can we find two better hemispheres Without sharp north, without declining west? Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally; If our two loves be one, or thou and I Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die."

John Donne, "The Good-Morrow"

I am not a racist

2009-12-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

Just something that caught my eye.

Setelah berada 3 tahun di Israel kerana menjalani housemanship dibeberapa hospital disana, ada beberapa perkara yang menarik dapat saya perhatikan untuk dijadikan tesis ini, iaitu “Mengapa Yahudi Bijak?”. Memang tidak dapat dinafikan ramai cendikiawan berbangsa Yahudi, dari segala bidang, Engineering, musik, saintis dan yang paling hebat ialah bidang perniagaan, dimana ia memang paling tersohor. Hampir 70% perniagaan di dunia dikuasai oleh kaum Yahudi, dari kosmetik, pakaian, pemakanan, senjata, perhotelan, perfileman di Hollywood dan sebagainya.

Ketika tahun kedua, akhir bulan December 1980 dan sedang saya menghitung hari untuk pulang ke California saya terfikir apakah sebabnya kaum Yahudi begitu pintar? Kenapa Tuhan memberi kelebihan kepada mereka? Apakah ini suatu kebetulan? Atau oleh manusia sendiri? Adakah bijak boleh dijana? Seperti kilang pengeluaran?

Maka saya pun tergerak membuat tesis untuk PHD saya, disamping kebaikan untuk umat sejagat dan dapat hidup secara harmoni. Untuk pengetahuan anda tesis yang saya lakukan ini mengambil masa hampir lapan tahun, ini kerana untuk mengumpulkan data-data yang setepat mungkin.

Antara data-data yang saya kumpulkan ialah pemakanan, adat resam, agama, persiapan awal untuk melahirkan zuriat dan sebagainya dan data-data tadi saya cuba bandingkan dengan bangsa dan kaum-kaum lain.

Marilah kita mulakan dengan persiapan awal melahirkan zuriat. Di Israel, setelah mengetahui yang sang ibu sedang mengandung, pertama kali saya perhatikan ialah, sang ibu akan sering menyanyi dan bermain piano dan si ibu dan bapa akan membeli buku metamatik dan menyelesaikan masalah metamatik bersama suami, saya sungguh hairan kerana teman saya yang mengandung sering membawa buku metamatik dan bertanya kepada saya beberapa soalan yang beliau tak dapat menyelesaikanya, oleh kerana saya memang minat tentang metamatik, tentu saja dengan senang saya bantu beliau. Saya bertanya kepada beliau, adakah ini untuk anak kamu? Beliau menjawab, “ya, ini untuk anak saya yang masih didalam kandungan, saya sedang melatih otak beliau, semoga ia menjadi genius apabila dewasa kelak” Perkara ini membuat saya tertarik untuk mengikut perkembangan beliau seterusnya. Berbalik kepada metamatik tadi, tanpa merasa jemu beliau membuat latihan metamatik sehingga beliau melahirkan anak.

Seperkara lagi yang saya perhatikan ialah pemakanan beliau, sejak awal mengandung beliau gemar sekali memakan kacang badam dan korma bersama susu, dan untuk tengah hari makanan utama beliau ialah roti dan ikan tanpa kepala bersama salad yang digaul dengan badam dan berbagai jenis kekacang, menurut beliau daging ikan sungguh baik untuk perkembangan otak dan kepala ikan mengandungi kimia yang tidak baik yang dapat merosakkan pengembangan dan penumbuhan otak anak didalam kandungan. Menurut beliau ini adalah adat orang-orang yahudi ketika mengandung dan ianya menjadi semacam kewajipan untuk ibu-ibu yang sedang mengandung mengambil pil minyak ikan.

Ketika saya diundang untuk makan malam bersama orang-orang Yahudi, perkara pertama yang saya perhatikan ialah menu mereka. Setiap undangan yg sama perhatikan ialah mereka gemar sekali memakan ikan (hanya isi atau fillet) dan biasanya daging tidak akan ada bersama dimeja jika ada ikan, menurut mereka, campuran daging dan ikan tak elok dimakan bersama. Salad dan kacang adalah suatu kemestian, terutama badam.

Seperkara yang pelik ialah mereka akan memakan buah-buahan dahulu sebelum memakan hidangan utama. Jangan terperanjat jika anda diundang kerumah Yahudi anda akan dihidangkan buah-buahan dahulu. Menurut mereka, dengan memakan hidangan karbohidrat (nasi atau roti) dahulu kemudian buah-buahan, ini akan menyebabkan kita merasa ngantuk dan lemah dan payah untuk memahami pelajaran disekolah.

Di Israel, merokok adalah taboo,apabila anda diundang makan dirumah Yahudi, jangan sekali kali merokok, dan tanpa malu mereka akan menyuruh anda keluar dari rumah mereka dam merokok diluar rumah mereka. Menurut saintis di Universiti Israel, siasatan menunjukkan nikotin dapat merosakkan sel utama pada otak manusia dan akan melekat pada genes, ini bermakna keturunan perokok bakal membawa generasi yg cacat otak (bodoh atau lembab).Suatu penemuan yg dahsyat ditemui oleh saintis yg mendalami bidang genes dan DNA. Para perokok harap ambil perhatian. (Ironinya, pemilik pengeluar rokok terbesar adalah …… tekalah sendiri..!)

Perhatian saya selanjutnya ialah melawati tadika mereka, Pemakanan anak-anak tadi cukup dikawal, makanan awal ialah buah-buahan bersama kacang badam, diikuti dengan menelan pil minyak ikan (code oil lever). Didalam pengamatan saya, kanak-kanak Yahudi sungguh bijak dan rata-rata mereka memahami 3 bahasa iaitu Hebrew, Arab dan Inggeris dan sedari awal lagi mereka telah dilatih bermain piano dan violin, ini adalah suatu kewajipan. Menurut mereka bermain musik dan memahami nota-notanya dapat meningkatkan lagi IQ kanak-kanak dan sudah tentu bakal menjadikan budak itu bijak.

Ini menurut saintis Yahudi, gegaran musik dapat stimulate (semacam senaman untuk otak) maka itu terdapat ramai sekali genius musik terdiri dari kaum Yahudi.

Seterusnya ke darjah 1 hingga 6, anak-anak Yahudi akan diajar metamatik berkonsepkan perniagaan dan pelajaran sains amatlah diberi keutamaan. Di dalam perhatian peribadi saya, perbandingan dengan anak-anak di California, ianya jauh berbeza tentang IQ dan boleh saya katakan 6 tahun kebelakang!!!. Segala pelajaran akan dengan mudah di tangkap oleh anak Yahudi. Selain dari pelajaran tadi sukan juga menjadi kewajipan bagi mereka dan sukan yg diberi keutamaan ialah memanah, menembak dan berlari, menurut teman saya ini, memanah dan menembak dapat melatih otak memfokus sesuatu perkara disamping mempermudahkan persiapan untuk perKhidmatan negara.

Selanjutnya pemerhatian saya menuju ke sekolah tinggi (menengah) disini murid-murid ditekan dengan mata pelajaran sains dan mereka digalakkan mencipta produk, segala projek mereka walaupun kadangkala kelihatannya lucu dan mengarut, tetap diteliti dengan serius apatah lagi ianya berupa senjata, perubatan dan engineering, idea itu akan dibawa ke institute tinggi di Politeknik dan Universiti.

Satu lagi yg di beri keutamaan ialah fakulti perniagaan. Saya sungguh terperanjat melihat mereka begitu agresif dan seriusnya mereka tentang perniagaan. Diakhir tahun di universiti, para penuntut dibidang niaga dikehendaki melakukan projek dan mempraktikkanya dan anda hanya akan lulus jika kumpulan anda(10 pelajar setiap kumpulan) dapat keuntungan sebanyak $US1juta! Anda terperanjat? Itulah kenyataan, dengan rangkaian seluruh dunia dan ditaja sepenuhnya oleh syarikat milik Yahudi, maka tidak hairanlah mereka dapat menguasai ½ perniagaan didunia! Siapakah yg mencipta design Levis yg terkini? Ianya dicipta di Universiti Israel oleh fakulti bisnes dan fesyen.

Pernahkah anda melihat cara orang Yahudi melakukan ibadah mereka? Salah satu caranya ialah dengan menggoyangkan kepala mereka, menurut mereka ini dapat mengaktifkan otak mereka dan menambahkan oksigen dikepala, banyak agama lain di Timur Tengah, seperti Islam juga ada menyuruh umatnya menunduk atau menggoyangkan kepala, ini dapat mensimulasikan otak kita supaya bertambah aktif. Lihat orang-orang Jepun, mereka sering menunduk-nundukkan kepala dan ianya sebagai adat. Ramai orang-orang Jepun yg pandai? Adakah ianya sebagai kebetulan? Kegemaran mereka ialah sushi (ikan mentah). Adakah ini kebetulan? Fikirkanlah!

Berpusat di New York, Dewan perniagaan Yahudi bersedia membantu mereka yg berminat untuk melakukan bisnes (sudah tentu untuk Yahudi sahaja) jika mereka ada idea yg bernas, jawatan kuasa akan memberi pinjaman tanpa faedah dan pentadbir dari jawatan kuasa tadi akan bekerjasama dengan anda untuk memastikan yg perniagaan mereka menurut landasan yg betul. Maka itu lahirlah Starbuck, Dell computer, Coca-cola, DKNY, Oracle, Perfileman di Hollywood, Levis, Dunkin Donut dan ada beratus kedai ternama dibawah naungan dewan perniagaan Yahudi di New York. Graduan Yahudi dari fakulti perubatan New York akan disarankan untuk mendaftar dipersatuan ini dan digalakkan memulakan klinik mereka sendiri dengan bantuan wang tanpa faedah, barulah saya tahu mengapa hospital di New York dan California sentiasa kekurangan doktor pakar.

Kesimpulanya, pada teori saya, melahirkan anak dan keturunan yg bijak boleh dilaksanakan dan tentunya bukan semalaman, ianya memerlukan masa, beberapa generasi mungkin? Persiapan awal adalah ketika sang ibu mengandung, galakkanlah si ibu melakukan latihan metamatik yg mudah tetapi konsisten disamping mendengar musik klasik. Seterusnya ubahlah cara pemakanan, makanlah makanan yg elok dan berkhasiat yg baik untuk otak, menghayati musik sejak kecil adalah baik sekali untuk penumbuhan otak kanak-kanak, dengan bermain piano dan violin sudah tentu dapat melatih anak-anak mencerdaskan otak mereka demikian juga sukan yg memerlukan konsentrasi yg tinggi, seperti memanah, bola keranjang, dart dan menembak.

Merokok menjanjikan generasi yg moron (goblok) dan sudah tentu genes bodoh akan mengikut ke generasi si perokok. Lawatan saya ke Singapore pada tahun 2005 amat memeranjatkan sekali, disini perokok seperti dianak-tirikan dan begitu susah sekali untuk perokok dan anda tahu berapa harga sekotak rokok? US$ 7!!! ini bersamaan perbelanjaan sehari untuk makan anda!! Saya puji sekali sikap pemerintah Singapore dan menakjubkan sekali!!! dan seperti Israel ianya begitu taboo dan cara pentadbiran dan segi pembelajaran mereka hampir serupa dengan Israel , maka itu saya lihat banyak institusi pelajaran mereka bertaraf dunia walaupun hakikatnya negeri Singapore hanyalah sebuah pulau sebesar Manhattan !!

Anda mungkin musykil, benarkah merokok dapat melahirkan generasi goblok, saya telah menemui beberapa bukti menyokong teori ini. Lihat saja Indonesia, jika anda ke Jakarta, dimana saja anda berada, dari restoran, teater, kebun bunga hingga ke muzium hidung anda akan segera terbau asap rokok! Dan harga rokok? Cuma US$ .70cts !!! dan hasilnya? Dengan penduduknya berjumlah jutaan orang berapa banyakkah universiti terdapat disana? Hasil apakah yg dapat dibanggakan? Teknologi? Jauh sekali. Adakah mereka dapat berbahasa selain dari bahasa mereka sendiri? Mengapa mereka begitu sukar sekali menguasai bahasa Inggeris? Ditangga berapakah kedudukan mereka di pertandingan metamatik sedunia? Adakah ini bukan akibat merokok? Anda fikirlah sendiri.

Di tesis saya ini, saya tidak akan menimbulkan soal agama atau bangsa, adakah Yahudi itu zalim sehingga diusir dari semenjak zaman Paraoh hingga ke Hitler, bagi saya itu isu politik dan survival, yg ingin saya ketengahkan ialah, mampukah kita dapat melahirkan generasi yg bijak seperti Yahudi? Jawabannya ialah mungkin dan tidak mustahil dan ianya memerlukan perubahan, dari segi pemakanan dan cara mendidik anak dan saya kira hanya memerlukan 3 generasi sahaja. Ini dapat saya lihat sendiri tentang cucu saya, ini setelah saya mengajar anak saya melalui program yg telah saya nyatakan diatas tadi, pada umur 9 tahun (cucu saya) dia dapat menulis esei sepanjang 5 mukasurat penuh. Eseinya hanyalah mengenai Mengapa saya gemarkan tomato!

Selamat sejahtera dan semoga kita dapat melahirkan manusia yg bijak dan bersifat mulia untuk kebaikan manusia sejagat tanpa mengenal batasan bangsa.

Dr. Stephen Carr Leon

The true origins of the real text is unconfirmed. I tried googling it and I can't seem to find the location of the real text which supposedly to be in english I assumed, considering that the writer is an American(religion unknown, so the bias-ness is unclear, but the the text is pretty objective anyway)

To make it more relative to us(Malaysians), why don't we look at the chinese(Please note that I'm not trying to be a racist here. I am merely comparing cultures). Most chinese that I know learnt to play the piano at an early age, say 5 or 6? Besides that, if you ever come across a public pool, sometime there'll be swimming classes, and most the students are??? yes, chinese. I started learning how to swim when I was about 8 or 9. I entered a class in Sri Damansara but in that class I was considered quite old. I think I must've been one of the two/three Malays there? The others were chinese of course. There were indians too, but quite few.

And as we look at the chinese diet, they eat a lot of vegetable soup, toufu(which is made out of soya, hence good!) and etc. If I'm not mistaken, they too eat a lot of fish.

Although being a quarter chinese, my grandmother was raised by Malay step-parents, so I am not accustomed with the chinese culture. Wish I was though, so I could speak the language. Then I could speak 3 languages, (IQ higher!=))

Honestly, I've always been fascinated with various religions, races and languages. (races being my upmost favourite). Sometimes I think that I should take history and anthropology as a course. And the Jews, I've always been interested in them. I am not saying that I want to be a Jew. Through my beliefs and faith, I am still a devoted Muslim. I am just saying that I am marveled at how they can be hated or disliked where ever they go. It's quite pitiful if you look at it from an angle. Of course massive open anti-Jews movements only happened in the past. Most countries are becoming multi-racial so duhhh, open-racism is against most national jurisdiction.

The point of my post here is to conclude that Jews have a long history of civilisation and development of culture. We keep asking why are they so rich, successful and how they claim that they are kaum yang terpilih, having all those qualities. They are indeed envied where ever they go, hence a part of the reasons why they are hated. What we don't realise is that these qualities can be acquired by just anybody if we acquire the right lifestyle. Culture can be leant and developed. Yes, I want be like a Jew. Jew by means, the healthy culture, not the religion and not the jahiliah way of extreme assabiyah.

I guess I should do math problem when i'm pregnant soon. and drink a lot of milk =)

Girl Porn

2009-12-28T04:46:00.000-08:00

ROMEO: If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Indahnya tanganmu, Tanganku tidak layak untuk sentuh tanganmu itu. Jikalaumu rasa telapak tanganku terlalu kasar buatmu, bibirku bolehlah lembutkan sentuhan itu dengan mencium bibirmu.

JULIET: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

Usahlah saudara memperkecilkan diri. Tangan itu sentuh tangan orang-orang alim. Sentuhan tapak bertemu tapak bagaikan ciuman.

ROMEO: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

Bukankah orang-orang juga punyai bibir ?

JULIET: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

Ya, bibir yang mereka gunakan untuk berdoa.

ROMEO: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

Maka, boleh la ku gunakan bibir seperti gunakan tangan. Ku berdoa agar kau ciumku. Kabulkan la doaku, kerana jika tidak, akan ku sedih pilu.

JULIET: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

Orang alim-alim tidak bergerak pabila berdoa.

ROMEO : Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.

*kiss*
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

Maka jangan la bergerak sambil doaku bertindak.

*cium*

Dosa-dosaku telah kau ambil dari bibirku.

JULIET: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

Adakah bibirku kini punya dosa-dosa mu?

ROMEO: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.

*kiss*

Dosa-dosaku? kemanisan dirimu yang buatku lakukan perbuatan ini. Pulangkan dosa-dosaku!

*cium*

JULIET : You kiss by the book.

Kau cium seperti diajar.

Tunku Kurshiah College

2009-12-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

On my way back home yesterday, I promised myself that I will write this experience in my blog. First reason is that I haven't been updating and secondly because it's just something that I feel should be shared.

Yesterday, I accompanied my grandmother to her TKC Old Girls Dinner. It was at Shangri-la Hotel. The theme of the night was Sugar & Spice. The emcee was this ex-tkc who later on became Miss Malaysia in 1978. I love her voice. She sounded so sophisticated(something that I want to become in the future). She said she took her SPM in 1971 but that means she must be about 55? But she looks so young!!! She's pretty=)(something that I want to be too)

well, that's not my point actually. I actually want to talk about the event itself. So the evening started off with some speeches, followed by the serving of the feast. The food was okay. Nothing that I particularly went crazy about. Western food will always have a constant cliche taste.You know how it'll taste like. Nothing spectacular. Delicious, but okay la. Exception to Italian of course. YUmmss!!!

Throughout the event, people were very mobile. Moved here and there. Meeting up with old friends, catching up, exchanging phone numbers or latest phone numbers and facebook display names. There were also performances. To be honest, the performances weren't really hitting my beat. Though there were songs that I know, most were alien to me. Anyhow, there was an instrumental band from RTM, Noryn Aziz, TKC girls doing Billy Jean(Kys can knock them off anytime baby,ehem, excuse me=p) and an accapella by the McOBA boys(or men?). It was really quite entertaining seeing these grey/white haired grown men singing their hearts out in front of a hall full of women. If this was how it was in the old days, it's okay, biasa lah. But to see the scene once they've retired and have grandchildren like me, I may say, is absolutely adorable.

Finally, the last event was one that should be taken note off. Open dance floor!! Again, if it was seen as people of my age shaking to "i know you want me" by Pitbull, it's completely normal. But we're talking about the golongan emas here. At first it was a traditional joget so this pair of mid 50s couple came to the dance floor and started doing the the joget. More came and joined later. And to my surprise, they all knew how to joget. These women and men of age ranging from 40s to 60s all knew how to joget. Ni bukan yang kekok2 punya joget taw. Ni berjoget berlenggok joget. Yang muda2 pulak, I noticed one(I think late 20s kot), agak hip hop jogetnya. sangat lucu! Afterwards, the choice of songs went more modern as it plays. After joget was chacha. For which again, these 50 year old ladies knew how to. It's like these old TKC girls knew all the dances in the book. I was astonished! I began to wonder how it was when they were at school. Did they learn it in school?

Okay. More songs played after that from grease lightning to some other 60s twist songs, to as modern as hey macarenna and aseraje. That's like almost my time man. ahah. Good to see that they are re -alleviating those moments dancing and performing on stage or at the dorm. Accepting differences and being tolerant towards each other and simply 'dancing' it off. From my table, I wish I could join them and feel the enjoyment they are feeling being with old school friends. Besides, dancing is SO my thang ya'lls. But it's not my school.It's wan's. And she didn't join in so I didn't too. Still, wish I could though.

It was a great event. Very posh. I wish my school can do something like this event. maybe in the next 10 years maybe? C'mon la, something TKC can do, KYS do better la.=)

Please excuse my extreme school patriotism in this post. Hope it hasn't offended any readers. =)

Alkisah sebuah Pavlova

2009-12-19T01:44:00.000-08:00

It looks okay now. Should've seen it when it's cut,LOL!

Remember when

2009-12-11T08:01:00.000-08:00

Boy: Can we be together?
Girl: I guess we could give it a try.

Boy: Ok, then can I say something as our new beginning?

Girl: Yes. What?

Boy: I love you sayang...

Tumit Tinggi

2009-12-11T01:15:00.000-08:00

One word; WOW!

Cuppy cakes!

2009-12-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

Cupcakes made by me.

Buttercream Icing and motive decorating made by Nyaknyah and myself.

The Weekly 10

2009-12-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

Honestly speaking, I'm so not in the blogging mood. Well, partly because I'm at home and nothing happens to me. Another reason would be because I'm not in college ie. i'm not doing any intellectual work so my mind isn't very productive. *pause* (see, it's like a mind blockade. my mind refuses to allow my intellectual-ness to flow into my writing/blogging). CRAP!.

OKAY! i suppose i'll talk about recent happenings and stuff.

1. I'm into baking now. and I'm so growing biceps out of all the batter mixing. My next project is a moist chocolate cake. Going baking shopping soon.

2. I haven't been doing productive studying. I attempted to study but I got bored too easily. I need a drive, but I don't know what is it.

3. English classes are running along quite owww..kaaayyy..i think. Although, i honestly wish I don't have to attend it. Luqman shouldn't have to either. I think he has better english than most of the people in that class. But on the bright side, he's not wasting time playing video games and obsessing about his new windows 7 upgrade and criticizing Mac's capabilities. Fyi, I'm pro-Mac and he's anti-Mac.

4. I bought a new handbag at this cool shop at Rasta. The shop is really cool I tell you. The bags there are so vintage and old-school looking but heck I wish I could buy more than one. It's called UsUsUs Clothing if you guys want to check it out. I would definitely recommend so=)

5. I got my first not so great reply from my UCAS application. My application to Uni. of Birmingham was unfortunately UNSUCCESSFUL. Down. The news was definitely a big BAMMM for me. I mean it's only been 2 weeks since I sent in the application(or at least the college did) and they hate me already??again... DOWN!

6. On the other hand, I got my first offer yesterday. WHOOPIES!!! from Uni. of Exeter with a conditional offer of BLOODY set of AAA, including Mathematics. Heck, good enough.alhamdulillah. At least they didn't give me a killer offer by saying that I have to get A for F.Maths. Naaahh.. quite unlikely considering that my course is Economics not Mathematics or Actuarial Science. uhh,at least I hope so.

7. I have a big tummy now. Need to eat less.

8. Going to watch a play at HELP this Friday with Eupho peeps. Quite excited about meeting old friends.

9. Aimi coming to KL. So, gonna hang out with college friends on Monday. I hope it works out. I can only make it after 3.(because of the english class)

10. Need a pair of new flats and a wardrobe clear-up. Nothing fits into the cupboard anymore and I only wear half of the clothes in it.

2009-11-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

There's actually so much to tell. But perhaps I shouldn't make my personal life too public. Heh. In short, I've done some stalking(duhh) on some family members and I am quite impressed. It's ironic and wonder that what is no longer but is used to be, says so much yet so little. It creates 'what ifs', possibilities, hmmm the buttterfly effect?

Okay, this upper part is a bit confusing ain't it?

scrap it off..

Anyhow, I went out with Fiq last Thursday. it was great and I had fun albeit the energy spent walking. FYI, we went shopping! He bought some v-neck tshirts in different colours, some vulgar tshirt(he got one for me too=p) and a pair of heels(for me!!!! thanks fiq, I love it though I might have to learn how to walk in it first). As for me, I bought a top, a pair of leggings and a belt from nicci. O God, I am completely in love with the store I tell you. I would wear anything inside the shop! And it's quite cheap. Hell seriously girl, for a boutique(i repeat a boutique not department stores like Jusco or Parkson) in One Utama for crying out loud, it's bloody cheap! I'm so happy! And I'm so in a 'wasting-money' mood! is there even such thing? heck, who cares if it doesn't anyway.

Life at home has been great!

Time is wasted.

Work is not done.

Fat have been accumulated.

'Lepak' is my current motto.

Absolutely Fantabulous!

However, that will change as of tommorow, when my english class starts. and studying routine shall also start.

On the other hand, I want to invite Mon over to do cupcakes. maybe this weekend? Should I?. It isn't fun to bake messed up cupcakes alone. Since I haven't seen Mon for a while and he is now my geographically closest friend, hence I should. and I will.

-I need to study and become smart.

-I'm nervous about getting/not getting uni offers. Currently, psychopathically checking email inbox every other day.

-Keinginan untuk diet kini hanyalah impian palsu semata-mata sesungguhnya.

-I want to be able to bake cakes that look and taste like cakes.

-I don't care, I'm eating anyway.period.

The truth behind the door

2009-11-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

dear ALL,

feast your eyes on an expose about the hottest girls in college. They're not only hot and sassy, they're one of the sweetest people I've met. =)

I shall start with the girl next door. If you know this lovely girl, then you might definitely agree that she's THE 'All That' girl in college. She's remarkably intelligent. I'm serious guys. I mean she gets the grades and she speaks out her incredibly brilliant mind. Besides being a part-time nerd, she is also an all-rounded person. She's a part of the student council, she socializes at the cafe or RC with friends and makes it to concerts during the weekends. Like WOW! damn, ain't she perfect peeps? Well, too bad she's taken guys. Though, i am completely sure if she isn't, she might need to start jogging in the evening so that she'll be well-fit to run away from men. ahahah. lame, i know.

This person is Amirah Anis bt Khair. On one hand, she's the sweet darling adorable kitty cat Amirah who never talks bad about people. Not only does she not criticise, she's infact too dear to even notice other people's bad side. Well, it's that or she must be really ignorant. (i'm kidding amirah, you're a dear!=p) On the other hand, deep inside she's a tiger waiting to be unleashed, rawrrrr!*wink2* (ingat our plan in UK eh?=p)

Next is the girl opposite to my door. Now here's a scandalous girl I'd say.=p

by appearance, she's fair, has a chinese face(explains that she's half chinese) and possess a unique sense of fashion style. From hip hop punk harajuku to gadis melayu terakhir to sophisticated chic. You name it, she can pull it off anytime babeyh! Which explains the fact that she takes the most horrifically longest time to get ready. Have I mentioned that she's a genius? c'mon laa. Mara medic kot!

She's also very kind and sweet despite being childishly manja most of the times. But that's not a bad thing. She's still a great person who smiles a lot!=) Nadiah Al-Hasyir it is!!!

Last but not least, is the girl I not only go college with, I also shared a whole 5 years of high school with. Though, we weren't very close in school as much as we are now. I was actually quite terrified by her in school. I mean she IS quite direct and honest in what she feels. But don't be mistaken, I'm not saying that she's unapproachable, I'm just saying that you wouldn't want to mess with her. However, I don't deny that throughout the years, she has gradually 'tamed-down' quite a lot. She no longer swears celaka or bangsat everyday though there are the ocassional shits and stuff. Besides being sedia ada smart, she's very hardworking! especially in Maths. She takes maths very very seriously I tell you, to a point it freaks me out. hmmm, she IIISSS taking acturial science. Good luck Wa'eng! aka chi'in or by full, Nor Asyiqin Radzi.

She is also takes the time to dress well to class. Did I mention that she and Kun have the largest collection of shoes i've ever seen. And they're nice shoes okay! Very hip! I envy them. i can never be that semangat to dress up and stuff. My dressing up is just eye-liner and lipstick. Heels are really painful for me, though i wish I could wear them! they're so nice! and i really need that extra 2 inches.

IN SHORT, I love my girls. They're great people! L-42 is THE chalet people!

Please Read Oxford!

2009-10-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

Dear all those who know this person or don't or would want to know this person, please read this post.

I would like to introduce to you my friend. We've known each other for quite a while. Seven years actually. We were never been that close during the first 5 years but we got much closer in 2008, last year.

Currently, i see him almost everyday minus weekends. I share 4 classes with him. i sit next to him in 2 of 4 of these classes. He's a very quiet boy. Err, Not so boy-ish, more of guy-ish actually. I prefer him with the arkam beared though most others prefer otherwise. I guess I'll start introducing his looks to those who've never met him. bismillah, I'll make this sound as mouth-drooling as possible.*wink2*

He's tall. I mean he's not as tall as those lanky mat-sallehs but tall enough to be considered tall in Malaysia. Get it? He has quite a nice built. Not so thin, but not fat either. he has square-ish shoulders.He's not one of those overly muscular guys yang berketak-ketak(gross!) at the same time, he's not kurus gila cengkung macam rempit hisap dadah.(have I mentioned, he doesn't smoke? kan?). He's of quite a dark shade which is quite manly.hmmm?haha basically tak jambu la. he has small sleepy eyes to a point that you can't tell if he was sleeping or not. I suppose some may think of it as dreamy. He pursues a very simple and modest way of dressing. no fancy jeans, no chain-y dangling thing-ies and definitely no absurd graphic ts. He always wears a simple straight clean cut trousers(most are not jeans) with decent tshirts. Nothing striking, nothing vulgar and nothing too bizarrely tight. Just nice. For classes, he wears ironed shirts though sometimes hand cuffs not buttoned(edgy sikit la i guess), his trousers are wrinkle-free as well maintaining a straight clean single front crease. Basically he's a very elegant man with a classy taste. Have I mentioned he uses an LV bag to class?nice right.. huhu=p

Other than his appearance, he's very diligent for he pays attention in all the classes i share with him. I guess that's why he's doing pretty well in his studies. He's hard working in classes, he copies notes, does assigned work given and teach lousy slow-poke me.(though sometimes i wish he'd be more step-by-step with me because unlike everybody else in the class, i'm not as fast-learning).

You know how most genius people are so genius, you think there's no way you can ever be of your league. Perhaps, he's one of them. Though, sometimes, I can still relate to him so I don't feel so out of place whenever I'm with him. (Maybe because he makes lame jokes yang kadang-kadang tak lawak langsung, LOL!)

He's also quite participative in outside school activities. He danced during college concerts, play some sports, I think he still plays rugby? correct me if I'm wrong. He's also very IT-savvy . He makes videos for college video competitions. Impressive? pretty so. In high school those days, he played the violin for the school orchestra. Have I mentioned that he plays the guitar too? base, lead, rhythm, anything to everything. Girls, c'mon la, guys who play the guitar are usually(most of the times) pretty appealing right? I've dated guitar players. So I guess I'd know.=p I don't think he plays the drum though. or it's just that I've never seen him play. naahh, i don' think so.??

Overall, he's a nice person. Despite being verbally-bullied by him everyday. He's always someone I can randomly let my daily-distress out to. He may be lame sometimes. But he's nothing near annoying. He's always there to help others. He's not one of those 'cool smooth-talking dudes' , people break their hearts to everyday. He's the one who will make a lame joke so you can laugh off your sorrow(cheyyhhh). He's very attentive in a sense that he realises what you wear and take the effort to comment them (though I always receive negative ones, cheh ). So try wearing something really hot twice in a row. I'm sure he'll notice, in a good way la.

I guess I've blab quite a lot about him. I guess you'd know who he is by now. Just in case you haven't figured it out, the person I've spent half an hour describing about is none other than my school mate, college-mate, house-mate and class-mate, AHMAD SHAHIR MAHFUDZ.

cop, just to add, he had recently received a conditional offer from UCL.

He's aiming OXFORD by the way. Hope he gets it. So to those university admissions people in Oxford, this is my recommendation for Afro. Pick him! Pick him!=)

Semalam di L-42

2009-10-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

Pernahkah anda seronok tinggal berseorangan di KYUEM ? Saya pernah.

I mean seriously folks, as lame as it sounds. A weekend alone in your chalet can be quite self-satisfying I may say. For all of the reasons, it's calmer, quieter, cleaner and some other adjectives I can't seem to recall my mind=p. I woke up considerably early(for my standard). I was already up by 7.30. I say... I'm quite unassuming sometimes right?=)

So, i rose from my bed, put both my feet on the ground, and hmmmmmm, the sensation of cold tiles. aaaaahhh, so orgasmic!LOL! FYI, my chalet aircond just got fixed on friday so I'm pretty jakun in all sense. ahaah! ( I've been living in a temperature which is higher than Malaysian average temp, you think Malaysia's warm? try living in L-42)

I'm emptied my trash and went outside to put the tied plastic bag in the big green bin across the 'mini kampung path'. Which by the time I did, Izzi and Idzni ajak me to go breakfast with them. Who am to deny food? Okay!=)

Breakfast was average kyuem standard. nothing to be excited about.

I spent the rest of the day studying in my room and enjoying cool room temperature. I was quite productive until I decided to TAKE A NAP! there goes 2 hours of my study time. *sigh* At about 4, I woke up and studied again. Ok la, sleeping might have done me some good la jugak because when I woke up, I was lively as ever. I was even much enthusiastic about reading the Anderton book. So, I should nap everyday?=p

waeng came back at 5 or so. brought me my dinner! My ever so cheesy calorie-wholesome, cellulite-building and delicious road to fatness. Domino's cheese double decker beef pepperoni. And guess what peeps, I finished one whole regular pizza, ON MY OWN!. ( Mampus!,bak kata Farhanah Rafique genius A untuk Further Maths , " aku tak kesah, orang tamak selalu kenyang")*wink2* hmmm..secret to A in Further Maths? possibly.

That night, I washed my clothes, studied Econs some more and talk to Fiq on the phone.

As dull and boring as my explanation of my day suggests, it was so not. It was actually fulfilling(besides my tummy=p) and I was very contented. You may think I'm a loner, I have OCD, obsessed with pretty toilets and all, but I believe that each person should have time for themselves to self-rejuvenate, self-cleanse. away from exterior influences and to think about yourself and only YOURSELF.

I should do this often.

LANA!

2009-10-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

I'm doomed!!!!
Topek said that the bank said it's too late for him to change his course and they seem quite pissy when he told them that.

*sigh*

What about me?? What if they don't approve my request? I'm left without a sponsor? is it too late to apply for the States?Australia??
Did I tell you I dreamt that I applied to UiTM? I also dreamt that my reference was bad because my teachers comment the worst about me.

Maybe it's a sign!

It's trying to tell me that perhaps my TRUE path is in the light of a course in Fashion Design in UiTM! Which explains why I can't seem to do well in any of my subjects.

EXACTLY!
Perhaps it's not meant to be?

But then again, I don't think I can even get into UiTM at this rate. My SPM is almost expired. A-level is NOT commonly recognised in most local Unis except private ones. And private unis are expensive?I certainly cannot afford that. I am basically left with no qualification, no special skills, no money, no uni, no education and no future. In short I'm wrecked!

What am I suppose to do?
WHAT WHAT WHAT???
Just study and stop worrying so much?
hmmm....
MO₦₤¥. Why is it such an issue?
BLURRGGHHHHH!

2009-10-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

I love stalking them yet I discretely somewhat distaste them?

WHY WHY WHY?

Should I get a life and stop?

hmmm....

naaaahhhh...

I'm happier this way.

Another one of my self-motivating posts.

2009-10-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

I seem to wonder why as life gets harder and more tiresome, I tend to miss those people who made me , me. Let's make it short la since I don't want to post an emo post here. In short, I miss my friends! Let's hangout and talk about everything... or nothing if we run out of things to say. I have this friend. He said, "friends listen to what you say but She listens to what you don't say" ... Yeahh.. I love friends like that.=)

This month will be a hectic one. There are simply TOO many things to do. Of all, the most important thing would be to study for AS. My aim is to do multiples of essays and essay plans. Next, i have to complete my UCAS application. I simply have not edited my PS so it'll be less than 4000 characters. Damn it. Will need to finish that ASAP!.

I also need to get a recommendation letter from Pn raha and send an email to BNM requesting to change my course. You see, BNM states that i need to go to UK and my course is corporate finance. However, there are no undergraduate degrees in the UK for corporate finance. The closest thing to corporate finance would probably be management or econs or money, banking and finance. Among those courses,I would say econs is probably the best course because it provides knowledge which I would most probably need if I were to join the bank.

hmm... sounds reasonable ? i hope so.

this email thing is something i need to do ASAP as well! oh dear!

Anyhow, have i mentioned that i failed further maths?

yup, i failed the freaking subject!

Well, as you can see, I have over a gajillion things to do so and Maths is my least worry as of for this month. I promise once I get the things i need to do out of the way, I 'll pay more attention to my maths. Applied is such a pain now. For now, I just have no time to do exercises. I hope by the time I ACTUALLY get to it, it won't be too late. Next year would be a tough one. I need to prepare from now.

I guess I'm turning psychotic.

apakah? no lah.

Jeemond says I need to study as if it's the last time I'll ever study. So with that I HAVE to force myself to absorb absolutely everything that I revise because in theory I won't have a chance to look at it again. Mama says a little stress is always good for me. Wawa once said, kalau stress, the only way to resolve it is to actually get it over with. If you decide to procrastinate by watching a movie or go out shopping(dengan alasan nak relieve stress), by the time you get back to your work, you'll still be stressed out, or worse, even MORE stressed out because time constraints are now greater.

I have to be strong and keep motivating myself. i cannot expect success to datang bergolek right at me. I have to help myself first.

Yes Sir!

2009-09-29T02:26:00.000-07:00

To all the peeps who love me and care for me dearly, I would like tell ya'll that my repeated paper will start on the 29th of October. Which is ONLY A MONTH away!!!! Let me repeat myself, ONLY ONLY A MONTH AWAY!!!
Thus I pledge to myself that I will get the grades. I WILL GET THOSE As! Despite my egoistic self saying that it's so embarrassing to repeat 2 papers, I will shove that angkuh character in me and look forward instead. Life's a CLIMB?=)

I hope everybody will pray that I will do my revision effectively and efficiently. I myself pray that Ms. Lazybum devil will stay far far way from me. I shall declare a restraining order against the demonic force! So missy, please go away and better still, STAY away!

As to conclude this post, I shall first firmly declare war against the 'opposition'(AS). Second, my foreign policy shall be revised and improved. Approach on the 'international crisis' here after shall be more aggressive and there shall be no retaliation. I, as leader of my own, will assure victory!!! aja aja!

2009-09-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

I've been bumming around at home watching korean dramas. Whenever I'm not out raya-ing or eating in the kitchen i'm in my room watching korean dramas. I did do some studying in the holidays. well, we all know that didn't last very long.Anyhow, fiq is coming to see me tomorrow! It's been more than a month since i last saw him? or less? Whatever it is, I'm so excited!can't wait.

A Romantic Dinner

2009-09-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

I have to tell the world about today as in today evening or is it tonight? errr,...this evening la.So what happened was..... my loved ones and I had a wonderful candle-light dinner/buka puasa together. aaaahhhh, so romantic and it was memorable indeed.

***************

huhuhuh... SO NOT!

Well, the candle light dinner part wasn't fully a lie. There WAS infact, as miraculous as it sounds or as pathetic as it sounds, a phone-light dinner. And instead of my loved ones and I, it was actually the whole KYUEM including myself and nope it certainly wasn't romantic. it was quite dreadful actually.ehemmm... I ate carrots!!!eeewww(I couldn't see what I was eating). However, I can't deny that it was QUITE memorable.

Honestly, I thought it was quite cool la. c'mon la. the whole college eating together int the dark? with only the lights from respective handphone as the source of light? Lawak gila okay??=)
huhu.

2009-08-30T02:22:00.000-07:00

I'm at home!
Yes, I know I have exams next week. But I just can't stand it anymore. Kyuem food just too 'delicious' for me. LOL!

By the way, I think Math is so hard!!! I am so doomed this Wednesday.

2009-08-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, so they FINALLY released the time table. whoopieess!
Which reminds me something which I found rather quite funny. As I was in the examination department, students were rushing in and out of the room. Apparently, they were all there to get the exam timetable. So the lady there said " macam pisang panas...." (*giggles*) Okay la, takde la lawak sangat..

Anyhow, the pisang panas issue is not the main point of this post. The main point is the EXAMINATION TIMETABLE! Shites!!! Frankly, nowadays, even the word 'Exam' gives me goosebumps. in other words, AMAT SANGAT MENGGERUNKAN!!!!! My heart feels like it was hit by a baseball bat and went home-run.

So my exams schedule/'death sentence' are as follow:

Wednesday, 2nd September(Aiman & Port le's? birthday): Further Pure Mathematics(Sem) & History(trial)
Friday, 4th September: Economics(Sem)
Tuesday, 8th September: Further Applied Mathematics(sem)
Wednesday, 9th September: Economics(Paper 1?)(trial)
Thursday, 10th September: Economics(Paper 22)(trial)

Bak kata Faris si genius dan Stab si genius-gila, "Lek sudahh..."
But then again, look who's talking. Sudah terang lagikan bersuluh, Stab+Faris & I are obviously not the same species. I'm not even sure we breath the same air. For which few of the gajillion reasons are ...
No 1. They are MALES!(Males specimens are never to be compared to inferior 2nd grade dna like moi)
No 2. They are just bizzarely intelligent.
No 3. by de facto ,they are highly superior intellectually
No 4. Diorang pandai gila-gila babi la!!!

OMG, what am I doing???? I should stop.This is obviously a sign of self-esteem breakdown thus resulting to self-pity. and self-pity is OBVIOUSLY UNHEALTHY! grrrr...

STUDY TIME NOW!

Anyway, my back hurts terribly. It's been almost 2 weeks now. I hate it! Please go away!*sob2*

2009-08-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

It's week to Trial/End Sem exam but the timetable is still not out. It's kinda funny how the semester just started a month ago, and we're already having our END Sem Exam. Like apakah? haha. Why can't they just do the the trial first and do the the end sem exam in like October or something. Hairan yang amat! OK la, perhaps they are trying to reduce the wastage in time used for classes. More classes= More productivity kan? maybe....=p

Again, when is the time table gona be out????
Don't they realise that their delay is causing people to dilly-dally their revision. Specimen numero uno: yo!
Then, there's always people like Ku'a

Tg Azharuddin (aka Ku'a): wey, next week exam ke?
Kammy: Ha'ah
Kua: Ye ke?* muka bapak blur*

I bet Ku'a is just playing dumb. I bet all he does is kiasu every night.
Ukh,... BOYS*rolls eyes*.... how I despise their wits! (=( sikit je...?)

************

Okay.
I am 'sure' that all of you guys are 'wondering' how am I coping with my studies and college life these couple of days/weeks? after 'the' tragedy that had fallen upon me. Fine, bukan tragedy la, .....message.... Yes, I am coping 'well', pretty much perhaps. I am 'currently' blazing with fire of enthusiasm to 'widen' my knowledge and 'broaden' my perspectives.

emmmmm....

eheh, How I wished the above paragraph is true. Well, I suppose it's partly quite true. I mean, Econs is really interesting now. Despite me being somewhat clueless in class most of the time. But I try to participate by asking questions. I even volunteered to draw a curve showing a normal profit the other day. YES! Lisa has finally drawn enough courage to raise her hand and say "I CAN DO IT let ME .."(okay, maybe I didn't really say that=p)But anyhow,like WOW! One step at a time Lisa. Ya'll wait yaww, Lisa is pumping with gas and ready to go!=)

What else??

i guess Math is alrightt.. chey.. who am I kidding? it's pretty hard. Macam biasa, blur dalam kelas mechanics. I hate it when I like it but I'm not good at it. Mechanics is so interesting! Im not trying to be a geeky nerd here okay but I'm dead serious. It is so much better than dull pure mathematics. Pure maths is slightly easier than applied mathematics but I don't know... macam takde spark la...

lastly, history.. hmmmm,,, I refuse to comment on this.=p

All in all, much things have happened. We even have a new 'item' this sem. You know who I mean peeps.=p You might be reading this Ms. N. Good Luck ya

2009-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

" I shall be good"
Alexandrina Victoria Regina

Equasi

2009-08-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

x∼SA

kini y=x
maka jika mengamirkan persamaan ini,
maka kita akan perolehi fungsi baru
kita anggapkan ∫ y dx=Y
maka, Y=½x²( anggapkan c=0)

namun jika mahukan Y=x²
apakah persamaan y yang diperlukan?
oleh itu proses pembezaan mengambil tempat.
d/dx Y=y
y= d/dx x²
y= 2x

oleh itu kita membuat kesimpulan bahawa
y/Y=2x/½x²
½x²y=2xY
x²y=4xY
xy=4Y
Y/y=x/4
Y/y=x(1/4)

nisbah Y dah y ialah Y:y = ( 1:4 )*x
maka untuk membuat satu Y ,kita gunakan 4 kali ganda y malah harus digandakan dengan x.

petunjuk:
y: peperiksaan AS
Y: peperiksaan A2
x= essay economics

Kesimpulan: untuk mengambil peperiksaan exam A2, effort dan ilmu yang digunakan ialah 4 kali ganda yang digunakan dalam AS dan haruslah kita menggandakan essay latihan.

Jalan-jalan

2009-08-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

YES I CAN AND I WILL HAVE IT TOO!

Today is a good day despite the fact that I got to know my components. Surprisingly, I'm not feeling any near down or depressed anymore. I had a week enough of mourning and resahan dan rintihan. So friends, let us all menyahut cabaran mengejar mimpi. Tidak apa lah jikalau mimpi itu sangat tinggi di nun sana dan kita mungkin serendah 4 feet 11 and a half(mama, now it's stuck in my head). Kalau tak dapat yang nombor satu, kos lepas kan ada=p(opportunity cost: next best alternative!). Hidup ini sangat banyak cabang, dan most of them lead to the same destination. So, tak apa la cabang mana yang kita ambil. Mungkin hala ini lebih sesuai dengan diri kita.One man's meat is another man's poison Bukan kah?=p Sesungguhnya Tuhan itu maha Bijaksana dan Berkuasa; Maka Tuhan mencipta manusia berbeda antara satu sama lain. Setiap insan itu mempunyai quality and unique in his/her own way.

Joke of the day

2009-08-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

Mr Brookes: Why make learning similar to sex?

Darimi: Because IT'S FUN!

* laughters!!!!*

Daeng: Because IT'S COMPULLSORY!
(Apakah Daeng?? My perception towards you from this point onwards will never be the same again.)

*all eyes on Daeng*
* BIGGER laughters HAHA!!!!!!!!!*

Mr Brookes: Because both sex and learning only works when both parties are pushing.

* aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh,, hmm*

You drive my crazy! I need a pill.

2009-08-12T03:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic week. I've recently gotten my AS results. How was it? hmm, let's just say, it gave me a really hard knock on the head. Even now, I can still feel the 'swelling' of the 'bruise'. In short, it was bad and I'm bumming.

As for now, i'm in a state of dilemma. I'm completely torn apart whether to drop any papers or not. At first, I thought I should drop history since it's really taking a lot of my time and also since among my AS papers, History was the worst. However, somehow or rather along the week, Mr Brookes convinced my class that not getting an A does not mean that I won't be improving in future. Also, some of my friends convinced me that Further Maths is very VERY VERRRYEREEYY hard so I shouldn't be letting go of other subjects just yet. Besides, I'm not that good in maths anyway. Somebody asked me today, am I confident in myself and I replied no.

Now, I can't seem to catch up in Econs class. So I thought to myself, if even when I could understand in class I didn't get an A, apatah lagi sekarang?

To make it worse, Ms Daleen asked how did I do. So, I told her the honest truth, that I didn't do well and I got a C for history(no harm revealing it to the world right?). She advised my to just buck up my english and it'll put off most of my problems.

Oh my, everythings so hard!
I really don't know what to do.
I'm 19 years old and already I feel like losing my mind.

***************************

By the way, prayers to Azwan Arif. I hope u get better soon.

2009-08-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

OH dear, I'm VERY worried about the coming release of my AS results. I'm not sure whether I'm worried because I was prepared and I tried my best so I'm terrified that my best isn't good enough; or.... I'm just scared because I know I did badly and I'm awaiting the arrival of the DOOM sign delivered at doorstep. Honestly, I think that I could have done better. But to think again, mistakes happen for a reason.(mistakes?? errr, tak taw la). What is done is done.

*sigh*

aaaaaa......!!!!! CUAK GILA-GILA BABI!!!!!!!

Anyhow, Naim left for the states a couple days back and currently settling in. NO, he didn't migrate to the US. He's just doing his degree there. hhmmm, time flies so quickly yes? It feels like yesterday when he arrived with his bike at my house, just to hang out. Or the time I called him to update him about Rosalinda; or was it some other soap opera? I really can't remember. I haven't seen him since 2005 or was it 2006?, when I bumped into him at One Utama. And OMG, he's SO TALLLL!!!!

Sugus too, is flying of soon. to CANADA!!!!! cold!!!!!! The thought of my friends flying off to firther their studies somehow makes me feel so giddy inside, as if I'm the one going instead of them. I feel so excited for them!!!=) New country, new Uni, new environment, new people, new everything la in short. So fun! I myself, can't wait to experience it. Ow, I hope I make it.....*wishing*

It's ironic how the two people I mentioned is my ex-cush and ex-boyfriend. Perhaps because I'm still good friends with them. Altho I don't see Naim on a regular basis but I do see Sugus once in a while. Sugus and I ARE after all, batch-mates so I guess i'll be seing quite a lot of him.=)

**********************************************

College is so tiring! Classes are so heavy! There're so many input and not enough space and time! I feel like an ant carrying a heavy load of hup seng biscuit.
PENAT!
I really don't know how people do it.
I'm just unfit for this!

Walaubagaimanapun, kita harus sahut cabaran mengejar mimpi bukan?
ya!

2009-07-31T20:08:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I made sushi! It took me 2 whole hours... but it was worth it.=)

2009-07-17T01:22:00.000-07:00

Just now, as Pn Raha didn't show up for class, I was struggling finding myself something interesting to do besides actually do what I should actually do which is like revising what I learnt during the the recent class but noooo, I prefer to do something yang tak berfaedah like turn my head back to talk to the other classmates.

So I was talking to Amelia and she was saying about how behind she is in everything(apakah melly? you can never be behind because a lot of other people are always and ALWAYS behind you, like ME!). Perhaps, like everyone else, she is too, human. So as humans, we worry. Amelia is applying for Oxbridge so she says it's hard for her to do her PS because her initial course is Accounting and Finance but there isn't A&F in neither Oxford or Cambridge so she's applying for Philosophy, Politics and Economics(PPE) or Law. So because obviously Oxbridge is not the only university she's applying for, for other universities, she'd have to apply into a course which is initially agreed by her sponsor, which is A&F. now it's hard for her to do her PS because PPE and Accounting if you haven't notice, there's a big gap of difference between them. It's not like accounting and banking or law and ppe or ppe and history. It's okay Amelia, I know you can do it. You're my idol!=) I hope you get into a good university with your course of choice.

Besides that, she(Amelia) was also telling me how she is not really passionate about her course. So I said perhaps it's not that she doesn't like anything, maybe she likes everything, so she can't really tell which she likes most. Then it struck me, OMG, I'm like that!

Kinda think of it, I do like a lot of things. I like Calculus,i like the quantitative theory of money in economics, industrial chemistry, History of Anne Boleyn and Elizabeth I. I even like geography, fine arts, performing arts, i mean i like to dance and be on stage at the same time, if you give me an interesting book about astronomy, i'd love it too. But I don't give much effort into a specific field because by the time i finish reading that astronomy book for instance, I'd be busy indulging myself in other new things. I love the world. I am open to new things, new perceptives of life or a matter/issue. That is why perhaps I'm not applying for Oxbridge. I want to have time to do other things. I want to join a dance club. I want to travel.I want to go watch plays. I want to work part time at the university bookshop or library.I'm not saying that if I go to Oxford, I won't have time to do all those things. i just want to have more time. You know what I mean.=)

But i'll keep my options open fot post graduate studies, maybe I'll consider Oxford then. Or Harvard or Yale!=p

After all, I am still young and the reason you go overseas to study is to learn new things of different culture, religion, mannerism and a bunch of other stuffs right? . Also, you want to meet different types of people and be friends with them.

I really hope I'll eventually fly off the UK. I really do. I want to get straight As and meet the cut off. And honestly speaking, I actually do want to work for BNM, and I'm not just saying this because they're paying for my education. I have always been quite patriotic infact.=p

Euphoria, Class of 2007

2009-07-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Recently, as in like last weekend, I went to Malacca fo my Kys eupho batch thingy. It was really nice meeting all those people whom I haven't met so long. And even better, in one shot. About more than 30 people came and there were two apartments. Like imagine that. 20+ people all crammed up in one room. damn. But it was fun. I mean, even Haiqal who doesn't hang out with us came. I'm glad that he did. It reminded me of the old times when we were young, back when he didn't wear contacts and I had long STRAIGHT hair. ahahahah. Saudi pon datang. naik motor! VROOOMM!=p Though I wished every would turn up especially the people I'm close to like Wawa, Idid and Wa'eng. But anyhow, it's like everybody forgot past differences and just .......BONDED! It was so FUN! We went out the whole day. We talked about the past, the present and what is soon to be. We chatted about school,college, uni stuff and maybe new boyfriends=p.Apparently Iylia has a new boyfriend in Japan. Cool kan. He's 2 years older than her. Syhu has a new boy too, he's already working. like WOWoW!I'm not sure about the guys. They just don't really talk about their love life. They just talked about rugby and sports amongst themselves. Balik-balik rugby kyser.

O yeah, there were many other new things about everybody, most apparent would be looks la kan?
Most came with new hairstyles, including myself perhaps. Terry re-straightened her hair(dulu curl), Aqeelah just cut and straightened as well. Didi tried on this semi-punk look which very much suited her slightly punk-ish style.on the other hand, The boys were infact more daring in their new hair styles. Jeebo straightened his hair and kept it at shoulder length. I actually prefered his afro hair. Long straight hair made him look even skinier than he already is. Eyen and Matdon's hair were pretty long. Afro macam biasa, with the jambang arqam. Tapi yang paling dahsyat would be Serai's hair. It's not just long, it's big! AND SOFT too!!!!!!
HUHU!

All in all, it was fun and I wished it was longer than just 2 days. I love EUpho and yes I love my KYS community. I wish we can all stick together till we have diabetes and high blood pressure.
But before that, I wish soon when we grow up, our different economic and social standing won't discriminate our friendship. I love you guys.

Check out the pictures! at my facebook acount.

2009-07-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

What a tiring day.Today I went to the KL Convention Centre at KLCC for this ARCHIDEX exhibiton about interior architecture and designs . Me mum wanted to check out new products in the market which she can introduce to her clients. There were booths on paint, wall panelling, surface pvc lamination, fabric, toilets, kitchen cabinets, you the idea la.

Throughout the whole visit, I think I must have 'wow'-ed at 80% of the products displayed. I liked EVERYTHING. Though, there were ridiculously ugly things which looked cheap and overvalued.But overall, they looked nice.

I managed to stop at Isetan, there were 'only' like a million. FYI, there was a mega sale, hence the ultra state of crowdedness. Mama macam nak mati dah earlier on at the convention centre.So I quickly grabbed something which cought my eye. As Kammy always say, yang ada kebenaran di hati.(tak masuk, I know, but if you know Kammy,... hahaha).

Now, I'm tired and I want to take a nap.
Tonight, need to read history.

CHOPPED!

2009-06-30T01:24:00.000-07:00

I got a hair cut!
Like finally! I've been longing to reduce the amount of weight on my head like literally!
So here it is!

2009-06-27T07:34:00.001-07:00

So it has been a week of holiday and yet I haven't started on anything productive which is STUDYING. I shall start next week.Yes, I certainly will! WILL!

So Michael Jackson passed away 2 days ago. Honestly I am quite a fan. Despite his reputation of being a child molester, bad parent and of course a plastic-surgery addict, (I don't believe what they tell me in the news nor I believe otherwise), he is still a great singer and a greater of a performer. Yes, perhaps I am fooled by my own idolization of him.fyi, I even dreamt of him giving me a hug and kissing me on the cheek when I was 12/13. I believe he was just playing around. He has always been the child in his family. Hence the treatment he has been getting since childhood. He enjoyed it and wished for it to prolong till adulthood. So he created a home more like his own world of fun, candy, roller-coaster rides which was Neverland.

Just like any child, he treats matter including serious matters like court cases as another game. He faces it with 'selamba'(I can't think of a word in English, harap maaf), attending the calling with his pyjamas and make funny faces too. He is either a nutcase or just plain childish. He likes to show off his belonging like any child showing off their toys, Michael claims that he is a billionaire which he is said to be not.

The cause of his death has yet to be confirmed. However for now, doctors claimed it to be due to a cardiac arrest, which is near to a heart attack, I think. Well, in that case, perhaps the story of his whole life is yet to be confirmed. Many people says many different things. They might all be telling the truth or they could all be lying or some may be lying and some may be telling the real story. Because in reality, money changes a lot of things baby. Like A LOT!

Anyhow, his life in none of my concern for I am only a fan of his work which is his voice and his performances not his personal life. So I attribute this post to one of the performer which his videos I use to seek dance steps from. Although, I have yet to be able to do the 'moonwalk' smoothly, I still enjoy watching his videos.

and my favourite..

2009-06-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday was my college's senior prom. So I went. It was quite nice. FYI, this is the first real prom I've ever went to. The best part of going these formal occasions i s I get to see everybody getting all groomed and dolled up. This is partly how my parents manage to drag me along to kenduri-kenduri kahwin or any of that sort. I find the feeling of surrounded by beautiful things so ecstatic.

Okay, back to the story of my experience during prom.
So my favorite dress was Audrey's dress. it was so 1930's Chanel. And my dear, anything chanel is so fabulously alluring. Very sexy but not too bold, eye-catching but not absurd, classic but not old-fashion.I wish I have a photo to show but the only photo I managed to find is this.
And here's some other photos.

Who's this fine lady you ask? This is my hot chaletmate, Amirah Anis. But sorry mate, she's ever so taken.=p

Me, Kamilia Aisyah, Farrah Aishah Aqlima. I adored Farrah's dress. The details made it look so excuisite.

Yes, this is me cam-whorin

Afeez Aziz

Abdul Azeem

But before I end my post, I would like to share my favorite photo of the night.
tadaaa...

Sorry petsib, don't be mad at me. Tapi gambar ni market gila weyy.. I still love you!

Kembang

2009-06-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

So there have been quite a number of these independent jazz singers in and throughout Youtube. Some songs are really good, some are cliche and mediocre. One of them is the very famous Yuna. And another would be kokokaina, currently more popularly known as Zee Avi after the release of Kantoi. So I was surfing around and listening to her(zee avi) songs in youtube, until I found this really nice song 'Tonight you belong to me', very nice. It's a really old American song, first sang by Gene Austin. So I found this version by Kokokaina featuring this random dude whom I found ever so familiar looking. So i clicked on his link to see his other songs and I found this another very nice song 'You and me'. I think it's his original song since I googled the lyrics and found no similar lyrics. Only then I found out the reason why he looked s familiar. He is actually Ayisy's cousin.No wonder lah. What a small world kan? I haven't heard from Ayisy for like a million years. Hope he's doing great. I think he'd be done with college by now or at least coming to it.

Anyhow, I think these two songs are really nice.

Nice kan??
When I first heard it, I felt a sudden 'kembang'. Wawa would define it as 'tegang'. I guess in simple terms, I felt happy and euphoric.

Nor Asyiqin.Kamilia Aisyah

2009-06-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

2009-06-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

Here's a recap from last week

Pre P3

LOL!

2009-06-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

Berjuta bintang menyanyi

There are millions of stars singing

Di antara yang satu

one of them,

Mungkin cahaya dan impianku

Perhaps is my light and dream

Di sini

This is it,

Gemilang

glory

Laluku redah onak duri dan lautan api

As i explore thorny thorns and fiery oceans,

Kemuncaknya ingin ku tawan

I want to conquer the peak

aku jelajahi

I want to expedite

Kini gemilang itu semakin pasti ku genggang

Now the glory is gradually in my hands

Gemilang suara, keyakinan kian dalam

Glorious voice, confidence strengthening

Gementar harus jangan

Do not be nervous

Jiwa ku harus bertenaga

My soul must be spirited

Mungkinkah ini

can this be

Menjadi realiti.

a reality

RECESS

2009-05-28T01:13:00.000-07:00

I've been in college for 3 weeks and I'm out of supplies. what to do?well, there's only one thing to do. live with it!haha. Anyways, I'll be coming back next week before Econs paper 1. Then i'll stay for another 2 weeks before my end of semester holidays. I think the holidays is for 2 weeks, I'm not sure. I hope this upcoming holidays will be a productive one. My aim is to study econs A2 since I can't start studying History because I wouldn't have any notes to study. Unless, my As grades end up being poor so I have to repeat, then I could study AS all over again .(I hope not, altho an A seems like a too farfetched aim*sob2*) Actually, I could start studying Further. But, I have a big feeling I'll be dropping the subject due to my lack of competency and morale in the subject.

Ukh, enough whimping around.(i can't help myself, SOS! I'm just a lembek girl!)

So, Goal for 3rd sem, study consistently( i feel a sudden deja vu here*wink2*) and to not go back so often, be independent and organised.(another deja vu here.hahah)

OMG!, I haven't even finished AS and I'm thinking about the holidays and the new semester. Berangan lagi lisa, berangan! sebab tu tak focus! When I should actually be thinking of P3 tomorrow which I need a miracle for and Econs the week after. What I should be doing is plan my weekend so it'll be a productive one, let me repeat PRODUCTIVE!

Anyhow, Mon is moving to BU or is it Damansara? Tak kesah la, either or, they're both near Taman Tun. It's nice having a eupho close to you, considering most of of my kys good friends either live in Kedah or Johor or the other part of KL and my boyfriend too, live in another state.I feel so alone sometimes! whoopies!HOORAYY! jeemond, cepat pindah!

Righties, time to continue revising maths=). Note to self: I forgot to draw an argument locus diagram.NEED TO SELF RE-TEACH! SHITE SHITE SHITE!

Dollars and coins!

2009-05-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

I want money!

Period!

It'll solve my problems I tell you.

Ilmu Kebarangkalian

2009-05-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

Statistics wahai statistics.

Dengan ini saya berdoa, bercita-cita, berharap, bermimpi untuk mendapatkan 50/50 untuk Statistics.

Wahai, inner-Lisa, sesungguhnya Statistics itu tidak sukar(chey..apakah, mana ada)

Maka full-score itu tidak mustahil sama sekali.

Sandarkanlah badan kamu kepada kerusi empuk merah itu lusa,

Tutuplah sebelah mata kamu.

Bukakan mata pen biru jenama Pilot kamu dan coretkanlah jawapan yang benar.

Sesungguhnya jawapan yang benar akan membawa kamu ke jalan yang lurus

dan yang lurus sahaja.(A untuk S1)

Sesudahnya kamu, maka tutup la mata pen dan periksa jawapan-jawapan kamu enak-enak, puas-puas, cukup-cukup, betul-betul dan seteliti yang mungkin.

Setelah itu, maka tutupkan kertas jawapan kamu itu.

Nantikan ketibaan pengawas peperiksaan mengutip kertas jawapan kamu.

Tinggalkan dewan dengan hati yang girang dan tenang.

dan angkatkan tangan anda dengan semangat dan katalah

YES! STATS DAH HABIS!

Blog post ini tidak ada kena-mengena dengan yang lepas atau yang kini dan hanyalah mainan fikiran empunya Lisa Amani semata-mata.

Wooosh2!

2009-05-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today is Saturday, a very boring dull uniform-wearing day. I woke up at 9, due to the fact that I had no block 1 nor block 2. My last block was Block 6, Islamic studies(best class ever because we don't have to do anything except sit and listen!woot2!). By the way, shockingly, I got an A for Islamic Studies this sem. Unexpected? very! wooohhoooh! Alhamdulillah.=) Which reminds me, how Ubee berlagak islamiah just because he got full marks for the test. Like apakah? Kantoi tiru 'google search' for Malysian Studies, ada hati nak perasan alim. I know he was joking around but Wa'eng and I just enjoy teasing him. Sorry Ubee dear.=p

So, the other day, we got to see our report for this semester. Not something that I get excited about but thankfully my report wasn't that bad as I assumed it would be. Despite Pn Raha's comment about me going through hiccups in Economics(which was cute considering it came from Pn Raha. She's so adorably cute!☺), everything else was not that bad. But, I'm not saying it's any good either. There were a couple of Bs and a C(IELTS! curse you!).

It was bloody hot this afternoon so I watched Devil wears Prada halfway until I fell asleep. I slept till about 6 I think because Wa'eng texted me(from her room less than 2 metres away!) to wake me up because she was hungry. To the cafe we went only to come back in distress and frustration caused by the LALATs. So EMO! half of the time I sat at the table was used to get rid of the flies and not to eat. So, there goes RM5 which was paid to exercise my wrist and reflex nerves .*sweat*

So I returned to my humble chalet, with no semangat at all to study. So I said to waeng,

ME: "Waeng!!! aku tak nak study malam ni."

waeng: "Asal?"

ME: "takde MOOD!"

In the end I ended up organising my wardrobe cupboard and secara besar-besarannya, wash my clothes.(ye lah, dah tak balik kan..) I'm quite pleased with myself actually.(tak habis lagi sebenarnya=p) Will, continue soon.✌

Anyhow, this is my favorite item in my room!

It's my collection of shoe key-chains. Plus a bit of some other chain-ish/bead-ish things. weee!!!

Butter-Meewa!

2009-05-21T03:15:00.000-07:00

Today, I skipped two classes. I feel so bad.... especially Pn Raha's class. I really didn't mean to. I really lost track of time. I declare myself GUILTY OF CHARGE!!!! Imma Bad girl baby.

I wonder what I'm gona say to Miss Daleen tomorrow, I mean Saturday. She'll murder me. But since she declared herself a witch, so she might put a spell on me *I put a spell on you song by Nina simone as background music* ahahahahha. Lame as hell I know.

Tonight, I plan to to do Econs!!!!! And MATH!!!! MATH!!!! My Math sucks!!!!

**********************

Anyhow, we have a butterfly(social butterfly) in our chalet.

It's a she.

She's actually a dog.

Her name is Meewa the Chihuahua from Beverly Hills.

So she's a butterfly-dog.

Today, Syiqin tried to catch her and put her in a bottle so she won't run away.

So I quickly tied her legs up so she won't fly away.

Here are some shots from the scene...

Lol! Well, actually, we just like to tease Amirah because she likes to socialise all the time. She likes to go to the Cafe and RC. I mean, with no direct purpose to eat or study.

Just Kidding Amirah. We love you!!!!!

Large Please

2009-05-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

HUNGWYYYY!!!!

Want

Fries!!!

Need

Fries!!!

Fries,

YUMMY!

YES!

2009-05-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

Reminiscing

2009-05-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend when I was studying History.

What's history when there's no mess right?

I finally completed my chronology. FINALLY!

History is tiresome!

Taking a lot of space. Both physically and MENTALLY!

I wish I could burn all my history notes. But there is a big possibility of me repeating. Hope NOT!!!

'Flight of the Bumblebee'

2009-05-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

Here I am on my bed engaging myself with a box of chocolates while hearing a love song written by a friend for another friend. *sigh*. Yes it's one of my down days. Kinda think of it, everyday these days is a bad day for me. The reasons would be because of:

1. my AS exams going on.

I can't do the recent P3 papers. I take a million completing the whole set. Even so, not that I could answer every question without either asking stab, afro or waeng. FUCked up!!! I haven't been practicing S1 due to the reason that I am busy literally poking my brain with complex numbers and vectors. Now, I want to be See Tian Feng!!! or my idol(only in maths minus his lame remarks and jokes), Ahmad Naufal or can I please have Barath's enthusiasm in maths. No matter, I will work my hardest in achieving 70/75 for P3.

2. My gradually increasing weight

I am gaining weight. There are more trousers which I can't fit. Even the ones that I can fit, are becoming tighter to a point that I have to breath in real deep before I could hook them. However, I still a have a marking point of 50 kg when I get married. I must be a maximum of 50kg by the time I get married.(Tapi macam tak kesampaian je=( )

3. My english!

As you can see, or at least if you have been following my blog, you would know how 'extraordinary' my command of english is. I have no idea how am I going to make it into a UK university with my current level of english. And the worst part of it is, I only have less than a year until my IELTS exam and even less to submit my personal statement. Great, now I'm not smart AND I can't speak or write in English. Even, when chatting with friends, I tend to mispronounce and mumble. Sometimes, I feel so embarrassed when Amirah gives me a confused look, somehow saying to me " What are actually trying to say Lisa? SPEAK properly."(hahah, no lah, I'm exaggerating things. Amirah, I know you mean no such thing.=p) Another situation which I dread ever so much is when I read Azra Azizi's history essays and I have to look up words in the dictionary. My dears, I am not talking about one or two words, I am talking about every paragraph, there would be at least 1 word which I do not comprehend. So in total of 5-7 words per essay. Plus, I'd certainly read more than one of her essays. So you can imagine how many times I have to stop to flip the dictionary. Stressed! Why is language such a big thing?

4. I want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. I don't have time!

6. I am always tired!

7. I am easily emotionally distracted when I look at my colleagues performance in awe.

At the moment, I can't look at the people next to me in class and I can't look at my friends' grades or not I'll start breaking down because I know I'm not as good as them.

8. I am terrified as hell

Friends, this is not an emo post. I am not emo-ing. well, yet. I am just describing my situation. So to all my friends, don't be like me. Study hard, this is not the time to play around.

****************************

Anyhow, the senior's prom is coming up next month and I'm going with the emotionless Abdul Azeem. Can't wait to see him shake some moves, or not? Haha. Well, I know it's not my prom to go. But I've never been to a prom before and ubee asked me so why ever not la kan..

Can't wait to go shopping and dress up=) hishhhh, I shouldn't be thinking of this, I should be thinking of AS. Haha. But I love to go look at people's dresses. I wonder who's gona dress the most glamorously, the most stylish, etc. And yes, another thing i'm quite looking foward to, men in suits and tuxes, aaaaaa, so alluring.=p I'll take a million pictures!!! yeayyy!

lapar la...

nak makan...

tp malas nak jalan g DH.

tak nak la.

3 HOURS or 5 Minutes.

2009-05-16T18:22:00.001-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

panicking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emo-ing!!!!!!!

soon to be dooom-ing!!!!!!!!!!

My history paper is tomorrow!!! and shit, i still can't remember the chronology of things although I actually have it beside my bed. Whatthafuck laaaa!!! All I need right now is to calm down, actuaally tak, all I need is a brain/writing ability like the great Amelia Foong Yi Ching's. Or Lau Wen Zhen??? or Aiman Arif anak Caezar???

I hate how I write!!!! I have a band 5.0 for IELTS writing. Let me repeat, a 5.0!!! a 5!!! FIVE!!! LIMA!!!!! Murder me now, before my mom does, if she doesn't I'll do it myself!!!! I would also like to note that a standard university IELTS requirement is a 7. and a 5 is quite far from 7. because we count ...5,6,7... not ...5,7..... i may panic now or forever hold my peace.

Miss Daleen says, all I'll be doing in IELTS class for the next 8 months is IELTS practices. Which is good right??? I have 8 months to correct my tadika grammar??? and improve my 'ikan emas' range of vocab. I am...... absolutely.... ecstatic. utterly excited!!!!yipppeee!

back to the topic my coming history paper, I repeat, TOMORROW!!! a 3-hour duration paper from 8.30 to 11.30.

I'll be dead my the 10th minute I sit in the exam hall.

KERANA APA????

Maka ia adalah kerana, dewan peperiksaan akan dibuka 5 minit sebelum peperiksaan bermula, saya akan masuk dan duduk menunggu ketibaan jarum minit bertemu dengan angka 6. Kemudian, saya akan buka baca soalan pertama iaitu soalan wajib, 1 minit sudah berlalu. Setibanya saya di mukasurat kedua, saya akan bertemu dengan 6 soalan di mana saya perlu menjawab 3. Maka saya bacalah semua pilihan soalan. Sehabisnya, sudah 9 minit duduk di dewan, maka saya fikirkan soalan apa yang hendak dijawab. .......*fikir*.........

*blank*

Mr Brooks kata kalau nak pilih soalan kena tahu pasal the topic matter. Tapi kalau semua pon tak tahu, tiadalah soalan yang boleh dijawab. Waaaahhhh... dah habis jawab soalan. Rugi diberi 3 jam. 5 minit dah habis.

HAHAHHAH!!!!!

I don't whether to laugh or to cry....*sob2*

I pray to God that the above does not happen to me tomorrow. I pray to God I'll be able to answer 4 essays tomorrow. I pray to God that I don't do anything stupid. I pray to God I'll be calm throughout the 3 hours and not break down and burst into tears.

080590-080509

2009-05-09T01:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday(8/5)!!!

I'm NINETEEN!

The night before, waeng,kammy, idzni,izzie, maddy,farhah,fadia, farrah, skyn put up a surprise makan-makan for me at izzie's.(thank you korang=)) Then, we borak-borak and laughed our jaws out. Our main laughing topic was about waeng and a certain someone.hahaha.hilarious!

Then, there was the main event of the night, the very famous 'ikat-call-simbah-run!'. victim= the birthday girl, myself of course.'Bondage=p!!!'. The simbah was very 'rejuvenating', lol. Luckily after some betraying here and there, I managed to hug(transfering the wetness and ickiness) everybody. Well, perhaps not everybody but at least the people of Sapphire.*wink2*. I'm good aha!!!

Today, I went out with Fiq. I got to see him, I'm happy, enough said.=)

To the people who sent me birthday wishes via sms, I'm very sorry for not replying, I baru got my phone back from the repair shop and I hilang simcard. So, tak sempat. Maaf!!!

050505 the 4th

2009-05-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

May 5th, 2009.

Every year, since 2005 I remember this date as a jynx date, a day of segala kecelakan dan kebangsatan. Alya's mom's birthday, Kammy's birthday, Wawa and Bunchis's anniversary.huhu.

What happened on 050505?

There's no need to know. It's too long.

I actually post an article about it to Cemerlang, the school magazine. I wonder if it got published.

To Alya Shariff, Nurul Nadia Azmir, Nurul Aqeelah Azman, Sharifah Fatin Nabihah Syed Bokhari Idid, Happy Anni-Celaka-versary!!!! Miss you guys! Miss our late nights!!! =p

I want to be an anak tailor!

2009-05-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it's really embarrassing when I say I want to become a designer. Honestly, I'm not fashionable at all. I enjoy dressing people up but I don't feel the thrill/drive when it comes to dressing myself up. However,I would love to be trendy and fashionable but I just don't have the resources to do so. My clothes are pretty boring, I go shop for new jeans only when I grow fat which nnt I depress sebab tak muat so I end up not buying anything. I buy a new top only when it's 70% off to less than RM50. The worst thing is, I live across One Utama. Bosan nya hidup!

But clothes are so expensive!!!!! Shopping for Baju Raya is the worst. It'll will drain out your pocket sampai seluar terkoyak. I wish I could afford the shoes I want, the jeans I want and the dresses I want(altho I'll never have a reason to wear them because according to some people, I have no life, sob2 ) tapi I nak!!!!!! I hate the person who invented money! Because of money, clothes have value. When clothes have value, they are expensive! Macam dalam kelas hari tu kita belajar, if there were to be no money, then scarcity don't exist because everything would have no value, hence no demand. Therefore, because supply is more that demand, price will remain low, in this case, FREEE!!!!!!!!

One day, I promise myself that I will learn proper tailoring so I would never have to spend a cent on new clothes.

Awan dan Langit

2009-04-29T22:22:00.001-07:00

It's two weeks to AS and there's so much that I don't know. I shudder to think of the amount reading that I need to do, bloody hell banyak gila!!! I lost my simcard recently, so pissy!aaaa! and my phone is under repair but the orang kedai haven't contact me to tell me the condition of my e65.(I miss you phoneeey!!!) another thing which is bothering me now is the internet connection in ghost town lembah beringin yang snail-tua-kerepot m/s.

These past few days, I've been thinking of the people who I miss so much and how I haven't seen them for so long.

Nur Wahidah Wahid

Tak la lama sangat I tak jumpa you but I still miss you. I miss you complaining and merengek. hahhahaha.. and the way you tell stories like it's a cut from a Gossip Girl blog post. Hilarious!

Sharifah Fatin Nabihah Idid Syed Bokhari Idid

Aku dah lama tak borak panjang ngan kau. Last time we met was at Deena's but tak sampat nak catchup2. I promise to myself that I will make a point to set up an outing for us later when I finish AS and maybe by the time you move to UIA Gombak.

Megat Amirul Zameer Megat Abdul Rahman

Good luck for AS!!!Kita kena sama-sama perform taw! and bila kau nak kuar ngan aku ni??

SHAFIQ HAIZAM MOHD KAMIL

I feel like I haven't seen you for a million years. I miss you sangat! !!!

I also miss Myra, Fa'ee(quite unusual but fa'ee is so cute!), Hannah(I know you have stories to tell me), Audrey Chong, Prassana, Kai Sheng(you're so sweet!), Tho Wai Khuin(my class crush!) and some other people.

Sekarang, saya mahu tidur! selamat!

Room C, L-42

2009-04-11T03:20:00.000-07:00

These are merely random photos taken by me on a friday night in my room with some people a in it. Also, Amirah wanted to change her profile pic so hence the numerous pictures of her.huhu*wink2*.

P/s: I want a digital SLR, moga-moga satu hati hari nanti, ia jatuh dari langit...weee

the pilot and his passengers.

2009-04-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

Amirah: My mom loves these motivational words. This morning she said to me "don't worry Amirah, the bad thing is time is flying, the good thing is you're the pilot"

*****************

Me: Don't give up Aimi..

Aimi: It's easier said than done.

Lisa: Well, you have to say it first, only then, you can do it.

So those were verbal cuts from my life today up to 1 o'clock when Aimi was walking me back to Kampung Sapphire. Although I don't quite agree what Amirah's mom said but I guess it's quite motivational. It gives you that 'above-the-rest' vibe. But then again, we can't all be pilots can we? If there were no passengers, then there wouldn't be a cause for pilots to begin with. If there were no demand, then there wouldn't be supply. No ice creams, no cones; no pen, no ink; no computers, no printers. HAH! And they are therefore called??? ---> complementary goods! LOL! (ngarut je..)

Hey, but it's true. This can be explained by the nature of cold and hot. Cold is not the opposite of hot. Coldness is the ABSENCE of heat. Cold is only true due to the existence of heat. This is because, if there were to be no heat, 'cold' would be the 'quo', ie the natural condition. walaaa..

In relation to my interpretation of Amirah's mom's quote. There would be no pilots if there were to be no passengers. In real meaning, the were to be no leaders if there were no followers. When this statement is to be further narrowed down, it means there would not be winners if there weren't losers. And what do winners/leaders do ? they SUCCEED. Henceforth the quote now means, "there would not be success if there were not any failure"

My hypothesis for today is failing and succeeding is the normal way of life. The normal way of life is usually illustrated with a curvy graph like those radio waves thingy. Just like the Boom-Recession curve....

In this case, Boom only occurs due to persistent inflation after a recession. In short, no recession, no boom. As simple as that.

So, we can conclude that my hypothesis is pretty much true =p. E grade, A grade, U grade are just there to complete the cycle. Don't be all mad and fucked up because mr. E is there, they're just doing their job. Embrace them, learn from them. They are like you, ..very 'normal' =). This can also be illustrated by the most common and NORMAL graph of all, the normal distribution graph.

See, if even the mathematicians support the idea, why can't you?

Why can't I, to be more precise??*wink2*

So, the conclusion have been made. What now? How can we react to the achieved conclusion? The conclusion(there are to be no success if there there were no failure) implies to us that failure shows that there are room for improvement. And mind me saying that the greatest satisfaction is not derived by winning/being the best but it is from the feeling of personal accomplishment(ie. improvements). This feeling can be achieved by any form of improvements. It could be, improvement in your grades, improvement in your exterior, it could also be about salary, or simply an improvement of relationship with a certain someone.

Don't give up people, don't give up Aimi!

There's always room for much improvement, much satisfaction.

Boys

2009-04-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

Sarra!

2009-04-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Sarra!

Tidak lagi!

2009-04-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Buntu buntu!

Emosi!

Kenapa hidup harus begini??

Kenapa hidup harus sukar?

Kenapa hidup harus pedih?

Saya penat menangis!

Saya tidak mahu menangis lagi!

Setiap titis yang tumpah di pipiku,

bak mencarik-carik hati,limpa, jantung dan segala organ dalamanku.

meninggalkan luka yang sangat dalam sedalam-dalamnya!

setiap ingatan berdengung-dengung di kepala ku

memanggil-manggil air mata keluar lagi.

TIDAK!

Saya tidak mahu menangis lagi!

Saya mahu kuat!

Saya penat menangis!

Tidak mahu menangis lagi!

Blank

2009-04-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

He is sweet, caring and funny !

Thank you for all this while,

Happy 19th Megat Amirul Zameer!

Whatever it is, I have Economics paper tomorrow, hope for the best! I'm wondering why I am so relaxed and acting as if I khatam buku Econs 3 kali dah??Ukh! I'm just gonna answer what I know and leave the rest. I am in no mood to bukak buku. The more I study, the more miserable I become. With my recent P3, yang sangat la AArrrrKKHHHH!!!!!!! And M1 yang GRRRRRR!!! and all my other papers which I refuse to say more.

Fiq is not replying my texts. Wonder where he is...

*sigh*

I'm tired but it's too soon to sleep.

*yawns*

Econs past year questions is in front of me begging for me to answer them. Sorry darl, I am in no position in figuring out how direct investment affects the terms of trade and balance of payment. Double UKH!

I mean, I do like economics very much but sometimes, all I want is some money and a ride to the One Utama.Ukh! No money pon takpe, I just want to stare at the pretty shoes and dresses.*that will never happen, for now la*

**********************

Like a minute ago, I was reading Kimbu's blog post about language and public expressions. He said it's funny how people write vague posts with metaphoric meanings because they think people will think they're cool for writing so artistically but in reality nobody understands pon*lol*! . Perhaps i'm like that as well. Or maybe not, I write pretty direct, I think.

I've always liked Kimbu's writing. He's always been so opinionated and write so clearly. I've never had a heard time reading his writings. Despite his display of 'obnoxious' -ness in the way he conveys his thoughts, some are really quite true.

Besides Kimbu, I like Kak Njay's as well. She's so creative. Her 'creative' is to an extent of making a tin of coke into a fighting jet. She writes about her common daily life but somehow I feel like it's so relative to mine. I, as the third party feel so connected to her life story, macam... so INsidethe zone!! Maybe because, in real life, I've always adored her.

By reading other people's blog, I feel so embarrassed of my blog. I don't write deep stuff. I write with terrible English, not to mention Manglish. My posts are pretty short. I am also not very creative in my blog. I wish I write better. Things that people would want to read. Like?

*thinking*

*BLANK!*

Nope, nothing.

Trials, Day 2

2009-03-31T02:21:00.000-07:00

Econs!

History!

Ukh!

Perit!

2009-03-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

Wahai kekasihku, mengapa kau jauhi dari aku. Aku merinduimu sesungguhnya. Aku tahu aku sudah lama mengabaikan mu . Beberapa bulan lamanya. Namun, di waktu aku perlukan mu, mengapa kau abaikan ku? Perlukah kau buat sebegini terhadap aku. Pening kepala aku, BINGUNG! Perit hati aku menatap mukamu yang putih, bersih, tiada kecacatan. Oh sangat indah!

Kadangkala aku menyeru namamu kuat-kuat. Namun, kau diam sahaja tidak menyahut bilaku panggil mu. Kau tidak berganjak dari lokasi di mana ku tinggalkan mu. Sahutlah, sahutlah sayang! Sahutlah panggilan ku. Usah kau buatku begini, sakit! Pedih!

Oh sayang, aku berjanji akan melayanmu dengan baik. Nanti, setelah kau keluar dari kamarmu dan terima lamaranku, akanku sentuhmu setiap hari, senyum menatapmu dan jikaulau kau mahu pergi jalan-jalan, baiklah, kita pergi makan angin hirup udara segar sambil memijak rumput hijau sihat segar. Sekarang, keluar lah. Bangkit dari lubang sembunyimu.

Ah, aku tidak tahan lagi. Berapa lama kau mahu seksa ku sebegini? Sanggup kau biarkan aku buntu, tiada hala tuju. Bak kertas putih, tiada tulisan, tiada guna, campak sahaja di longgokan sampah-sarap. Sayang, terangi la aku, pandu la aku ke jalanmu, jalan yang benar itu. Pintu jalanmu yang tutup itu, akanku tunggu setiap hari untuk kau buka. Sesaat itu, pintu hatiku juga akan buka, menerimamu. Akanku pelukmu kuat-kuat, ciummu dengan penuh kasih sayang. Pulanglah, pulanglah demi aku. Tatapi lah aku!

Sekarang aku kurang sihat, demammu! Sudah berpuluh-puluh helaian tisu ku kesat cecair keluaran hidungku. Sampai chalet ini sudah kehabisan tisu untuk mengelap kuman yang ku hembuskan setiap beberapa minit. Seksa! Seksa! Sakit sangat! Kasihani lah aku sayang.

Sayangku nota sejarah, aku ingin bacamu!

Trials, Day 1

2009-03-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

So here I am first day of my trials. *sigh*

First mission: statistics

Observation: It was okay. I didn’t finish writing my final answer for question 6 and in one of the questions I tak taw whether the value of n is 43 or 44.

Hypothesis: I will get an average mark. Not so fantastic.

Inference: Because that's what I usually get.

Conclusion:UNKNOWN!

Aiyaaaa!! Tomorrow I’ll be taking two essay papers, Econs and history. What a dread! If I consider that I’ll be doing 2 question for Econs which consist of 1 case study and 2 essays for the second section. So basically I have to do 3 essays la. Whereas for history, there are 8 questions in total and I have to answer 4 of them. So in total, I have 7 essays to answer in one day! UKHH!!!

*sweat*

No matter! Will try my best! As I said to Aimi,

“you are only gaining/learning if you are really trying”

So I’m going to try my best so even if I do fairly terrible, at least I have a reason to try harder. Tapi first kena cuba betul-betul dulu la.

Which reminds me of a song. Dulu selalu keluar iklan. Iklan rakan muda if I’m not mistaken. Or was it in conjunction with the Commonwealth Games? Not sure. But I’m sure it goes like this..

Jika kau fikirkan kau boleh,

Kau boleh melakukan

Jika kau kau fikirkan kemenangan,

Kau hampiri kejayaan

Engkau lah apa kau fikirkan

……*tak ingat*….

FIKIRKAN BOLEH!

ALAMAKKKK!!!!

2009-03-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

Aimi: So, Fared, what are you taking for trials?

Fared: All.. *giggles*

Aimi: Really? How come you look so calm? Look at Lisa.

Lisa: *muka space out gila tak bole blah*

And before that…

Aimi: Lisa, so what’s your plan today?

Lisa: I guess I’ll study till I break down and cry.

O God, I hate these times in my life where I feel so inferior and stupid to the point that I am on the verge of giving up and just face the fact that I am forever a loser. But I can’t do that can I? ABSOLUTELY NOT.! Even if I’m really a loser, I should at least not act like one.(ie, mourn and feel sorry for myself) Alamak, I have been acting like that. Urghh, whatever lah.

The most important thing right now is to plan what to do and how do I solve my problem of PANIC. As much as I know how trials is not that important, but somehow I just cant face the thought of failure right now. C’mon la, not another one! I know my history sucks like to the peak of Mount Everest dah. My maths cam still wiggle wogglish and I haven’t been paying much attention to Econs because I’ve been focusing on other things.(eg. History, co-curricular activities yang take so much of my time and energy) Hence, at this exact moment, I am everything except ready and prepared. Period.

Looking back through the years, I do face this situation quite often. Some end sweet and some VERY ROTTEN. But then masa tu, somehow I found a way to solve my problems, I found more effective ways of studying and finally I made it through. However, before coming to the stage where I can smile and be happy about the set of papers with that a special single letter which make me feel so “YEAYYYY!”gila bapak eh happy nak mampus, I have to come across many gloomy-ish letters, ukh! tak best langsung.. GRRRRR!

But the problem now is I have no time to repeat the process of jatuh and bangun over and over again. I have very little exams and I have to do well in ALL of them. If not, my sponsors will simply cut me off and my lecturers will write bad remarks about me.

Cheer up Lisa, you know that you ‘re not that incompetent.

Yes, I know I can do it or not I wouldn’t have taken the subjects that I am dreading now. I do realise that I am not a complete idiot. I’m just a bit slow in catching up and I’m just such a baby, so I cry about the simplest things.

Therefore, perhaps if I do terrible for my trials, God is trying to tell me that I have to work harder to achieve what I want. In the recent years, I have always been lucky academically, (actually just my major exams) despite that fact that I have a feeling that I do not deserve any of them. Luck has always been on my side as much as the grades have been. Everybody has their down-ers and possibly this is one of mine. It’s either that or I am a spoiled brat and I complain about everything. Mampus lah!

All I want to do now is face my fears with courage and 18/19 year old-ish maturity. I shall try not to cry upon reaching the examination hall which I did during my SPM agama paper .heh, I’m a sucker I know. HAHA!!

JF Kennedy quoted, “We have to do not because it’s easy but because it’s HARD”

I taw la I’m not going to the moon, but what’s wrong exaggerating kan?

BOOM!

2009-03-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

Saya tak tahu kenapa orang harus menggunakan perkataan-perkataan kasar dalam setiap ayat, setiap hari pada setiap situasi padahal you tgh happy, tapi mencarut, apakah? Bukankah bahasa melayu bahasa yang indah?? Same goes with English, it's a good language, period.

Siapalah saya nak kondem orang,kan?

Takdelah, saya berikan pendapat sahaja. Not to say yang saya tidak pernah mencarut, ada juga. When the occasion calls for me to curse, I curse la. Contohnya, saya tidak puas hati dengan sesuatu keadaan yang amat sangat menjengkelkan. Saya ingin meletup, aaahh! tidak tahan! *BOOM!*

"$^%&^(*&)(*)(!!!!!!!"

itu sahaja...

Exploring 'boredom-creativity'

2009-03-19T04:20:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been actually studying these two weeks of holidays. Yes, thankfully I study everyday but not really focus gila-gila camtu. Anyhow, I'd love to share with you some of th things I have have been indulging myself with these two days.

tadaa...

Fyi, these bottom two is suppose to represent the four seasons. The left column of the first picture is autumn, middle column winter, right column spring. The second picture is summer!!

And my latest one, the one I made especially for Fiq as he requested...

Credit to Fiq, my inspiration.. and of course my kebosanan/kemalasan untuk study, thus resulting to playing around with paint.

Lisa's Economic problem

2009-02-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

Lisa's problem is scarcity in TIME and unlimited KNOWLEDGE to revise. Where time is a factor of production(FOP) and knowledge revised is an output. Because Lisa has not all the time in the world to obtain output(knowledge to revise), Lisa may have to make choices, choices on what to study, how much to study,and to whom/which book to study from. However, that statement is only applicable in theory. In Lisa's case, she cannot afford to choose not to study some chapters. This is because the opportunity cost of not studying is to do badly in exams. If Lisa were to do poorly in her exams, investors(sponsor) may have to stop investing because Lisa's brain is thought to be unattractive. Because of that, Lisa may not continue to produce output(study) because capital is inaccessible. Thus, Lisa may have to 'guling tikar'(drop out of school)

Lisa's problem would not be so apparent if she was an efficient and effective entrepreneur. Lisa is unable to practice economies of scale which means that a lot of FOP(time) is used to produce little output(revision).

However, Lisa's economic problem may be reduced if not demolished. Lisa may gamble her way by moving along her PPC curve to achieve more revision by foregoing more leisure time . Consequently, Lisa may suffer lack of smile & laughter due to this change. However because Lisa wants to achieve maximum utility/satisfaction(uni placement), Lisa may have to incur such opportunity cost. Curve is as shown.

∴ conclusion: utilise resources! and work towards becoming a good entrepreneur.

JOM!

2009-02-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

Maka saya ambil keputusan untuk tidak pulang ke rumah pada hujung minggu ini. Saya mahu menyorok di bawah selimut dan senyum keseorangan. ahaha. Tidaklah, saya mahu berhadapan dengan buku-buku yang sudah lama merinduiku. Halamannya masih terlekat dan jika buka, keluarla bunyian 'fresh paper'. Juga kerana, tidak ada satu pun nota-nota ringkas saya yang benar-benar lengkap dan padat. Oleh itu, akanla saya CUBA untuk melengkapkan jika tidak semua, sebahagian pun cukup baik. Adalah pepatah itu, "sikit-sikit nanti jadi bukit". Tapi kadang-kala saya fikir, agak kerap la juga saya buat kerja sedikit demi sedikit, tapi, mana bukitnya? Tidak kelihatan pun...*?¿?¿?* Mungkin saya akan cuba 'approach' yang lebih radikal mulai sekarang. Saya akan memaksa kebolehan diri yang sedia ada tiada ini ke limit yang ku belum pernah capai itu. Itu pun kalau limit itu wujud. Jikalau tidak wujud, bagaimana pula? Tidak mengapa, belum cuba, belum tahu la kan? Di mana ada kemahuan di situ ada cara.

Ayuh!

Fuck these spotted conditions.

2009-02-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

As I start my 'journey' on my second month of my second semester of my second college during my second attempt of A-levels, I encountered 'black spots' in my expedition to 'greatness'. Black spot number one, premise provides more confusions rather than channels. I.e. there are many activities in this college, if we participate, we have fun but we tend to have less time for books, thus neglecting our prior aim, to study. However, if we do not participate, then we have less friends during our stay in the college, hence making studying in KYUEM insignificant compared to other colleges. Also, other people will question our so called semangat-ness for our respective houses, and it portrays our sense of ignorance in us which henceforth reduce the amount of popularity among others. If we are not popular amongst other students, nobody will help us when we are in need. Others might think that we are loner introverts who do not mingle and do not need acquaintances. In the end, we do not achieve our goal and we do not have fun in our stay. So what the fuck??? What to do? what must be done? What can be done?

Nextly, let us talk about the staff and teachers in the college. As far as I am concerned, the teachers/lecturers are fine. They are nice, caring, and do their job efficiently if not effectively. Some are rather unpunctual, some are inexperience, some do not have a clue what they're teaching(fact:they have strong knowledge on the subject matter, I am referring to their teaching plan) and some do not give a fucking damn about the well-being of their students and are only in it for the money, if not money, for the experience NOT for the enjoyment of teaching or the satisfaction of nurturing young minds. However, matters above only happens in very minor cases not ALL. As for the staffs and managers. The managers sit in their offices doing god knows what but all I know is that there is a certain someone sitting in that office finding fault in students. To me in a college, the sponsors are the investors, the owner is the producer/employer, the staffs are the employees and the students are the consumers. In parallel with the nation/world which are all moving towards the capitalist system in more exact, free market, the college should too work by that basis, 'consumers come first'. Thus, every decision made should be for the benefit of the students. The students should be treated as they should be. Perhaps not as a king but as consumer of the production(which in this case education.) They should not be treated as sekadar penumpang sementara just bacause they are not directly paying for the services. Though our sponsors are paying for them, we are the users, we deserve respect as well. A staff should be friendly to the students, love should be a common feeling that all parties feel for each other everyday. We should all work together as one body, one family only by the binding bonding feeling, LOVE not responsibilities, work commitments, or hanya kerana Madam X suruh. Where is the love baby? Where is the HUMANITARIANISM?

In conclusion, how are we to study in such gloomy and 'spotted' conditions? My say, hentam saja la. tutup hati, face it, forget it later. Embrace apa yang ada. Fuck it, I miss Ibu and kak lina!

Confession

2009-02-09T00:13:00.000-08:00

I love him.

and I want him to stay mine.

Period!

Lucky

2009-02-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

As I was sending Nick off yesterday, I realised how quick time flies. In the blink of an eye we have Nick already In Melbourne. It felt like yesterday that he was suspended because of 'the scandal' . and now he is doing his Bachelor of Commerce in Australia, sponsored by Sime Darby. It's a wonder how lucky some people can be. Perhaps, including myself too. I guess all I can do is be thankful to God. Alhamdulillah syukur nikmat Ilahi for everything that I have achieved. In the end, the decision we make is determined by Allah. Also, God won't help us if we first do not help ourselves. It is up to us, whether to take the so called challenge or not. In order to achieve something, hard work and sincerity is always important. Jikalau tidak ikhlas, maka tidak bersungguh la perbuatan itu. Paksaan bukanlah catalyst yang terbaik. Niat Ya. Bak kata senior kat sekolah dulu, Munir, Advocators 0004 , "Mindset tu penting..".

But then again, sometimes even insincere people succeed in their life. I guess sometimes, it's all about luck and wits. Some people are just smart and know have to allocate their 'resources' in order to achieve maximum satisfaction/ production. It doesn't really matter how talented you are, how many As did you get, whether or not you GPA is 4.0 or not or perhaps how pretty your are, if you know how to take chances and be an efficient 'entrepreneur'(in your own way), life can be as smooth as the flow of liquid.

Anyhow, here's Nick Bout to board his plane.

Dear Nick, you are a Super Lame dude but sometimes you just make me crack. I take that you are my friend still despite our differences. Take care, Jangan Mati sudah.

Oww yeah, Mon got me a pair of blue sandals which I wanted.

Thank you Mon!!! Ye ye kau tak kedekut.

My Best Friend

2009-01-28T03:37:00.000-08:00

I met him long ago

long ago I was about eleven or so

he was just a little boy back then

back then I was a little girl

we played childish games

childish games and compares grades

he sat in front of me in class

in class he would tell me he liked a friend

a friend I am quite close to back then

there were many things back then now no more

now no more ....

He didn't love me then...

**************************

I watch him from a boy to a young man

He matured and he blossomed to a charmer

Perhaps that explains...♡

still, he didn't love me then..

***************************

Now, he is there when I need him.

He is forgiving and always patient.

He is understanding and he loves me..

****************************

Sometimes, he is adventurous,

adventurous, wild and passionate.

He makes me laugh, smile and cry all at once..

but more importantly, he loves me..

***************************

He is all that I need,

All that I've wanted,

Not all that I expected,

But he is the best that I've had;

Now he's all that I have..

All that I will always have...

All in all,

most importantly, I love him.

Tadaaa...

2009-01-10T11:21:00.001-08:00

Hannah tagged me for the screen print thingy but I bengap dan sangat noob so I didn't do it.

But I learnt something new today!

Yes you guessed it,SCREEN PRINTING!!

I'm so proud of myself.LOL!

And I'm tagging:

--->who ever yang tak reti

So here it is...

This is kinda fun

2009-01-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first minimal words of explanation.

b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you've finished answering every question page of results.

1. The age you'll be on your next birthday :

2. A place you'll like to travel to :

3. Your favourite place :

4. Your favourite food(s) :

5. Your favourite pet :

6. Your favourite colour combination :

7. Your favourite piece of clothing :

8. Your all time favourite song :

9. Your fav tv show:

10. First name of your significant other/crush :

11. The town in which you live in :

12. Your screen name or nickname :

13. Your first job :

14. Your dream job :

15. Your worst fear :

16. The one thing you'd before you die :

17. The first thing you'll buy if you get $10,000,000 :

And and I'm tagging:

-you

-you too

-also you

-definitely you

-special request---> Amirah Anis

I'm Back

2009-01-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

So I have returned to my ghost town college, KYUEM. After 6 weeks of lembu-ing, I've come back only to realise that I have so much to catch up in history(since I left early and forgot to get the holiday reading material) and so much that I forgot in Mechanics. Damn it. There's no point regretting now but only to strive better in the future. To study consistently IS my new years resolution for which is not really reflecting what I'm doing now. I'm taking a break. Afterwards, I'm going to do some mechanics questions before I doze off on bed, reading history.lol.

By the way, elections 2009 is coming up and Farrah is running for VP and Amirah, Academic EXCO. I thought I would have but to think of a certain someone that I might would have to work with/for, perhaps I shan't. And to be honest, you can't be doing something you want only for its fame and name, which I do if I ran. I am not in the position that I am able to 'sayang' college and devote my heart truly for my responsibilities towards the college. Plus, I don't even understand this college, not the rules, not some people in this college and some other things I find somewhat absurd in this college. Do not misinterpret me, I like the college very much but to the extend of loving, perhaps no. And from now on, I will only do things which I like and truly find important. I want to become more passionate in whatever I do. But then again, I am always usually very passionate in whatever I do,haha, except studying of course but that's a different case see, studying is important.

In short, I don't want to waste my time doing something which is not me and which I know I am not worthy of. Despite having so-so amount of experience of being all leader, second-man, follower, kuli and etc which I certainly enjoyed, for once I want to be the third party in the scene,the one who observe, criticize and complain(lol) from far. I have more time to be 'gila kuasa' later in uni(ahahha, I don't mean that, just thought it sounds cool) I mean, my priority is myself right now, so I want to be focused la. Ye la kan, diri sendiri pon tak boleh jaga lagi, ada hati nak jaga orang lain. Pape pon, I will still have fun in college. =)

Panic at the Jiwa

2009-01-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

I AM PACKING!!!

I'M ALSO SO TIRED!!

I HAVE A KETUMBIT!!!

I NEED MORE SLEEP!!!

I HAVE TO START GOING TO CLASSES!!

LIKE TOMORROW!!!!

SHITE!!!!

Hello 2009

2008-12-31T20:15:00.000-08:00

Since Fiq and I couldn't celebrate New Years together so I decided that we could something together even though we're far apart. So, we made new years resolutions together. Here it is, tadaaaa...

Fiq and Lisa's Resolutions

1. Be more saving- spend money wisely
2. Be more solehah(for me la, him jugak kot)
3. Study consistently
4. Reduce 'melepak' and non-beneficial activities.
5. Listen to what parents say, do not fight back or like me, neglect.
6. Have a flat stomach-----> Idol=Jessica Alba/Channing Tatum
7. Be kinder and more helpful to others.
8. Be more generous.Jangan kedekut.
9. Be more organized and systematic.
10.Have smoother skin- Start using lotion regularly.
11. never upset Lisa Amani
12. More caring towards Shafiq Haizam.
13. Reduce sms-ing. (prior to above, save money)
14. Call each other more( rapatkan silaturrahim =p)
15. Be more lawa and handsome.

And these are a couple of random photos throughout the holidays. They're pretty much jumbled up.Sorry..lol.

My Way

2008-12-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

HOW TO HANDLE STRESS

Step 1: Cry!-Yes baby, let it all OUT and away. Shout if you want.Screech, scream, lose your voice if makes you feel better.Stand at a window and shout! Say "Fuck YOu! AAAARRGGGGHHHH!!!! I am Beautiful, Intelligent & Talented!!So scram!!!"

Step 2: Take a long bath- I f you have a heater, even better. Scrub all that dirt and all the pain away. Release your bad qi. When you cleanse your physique, you'll rejuvenate your mind. With clean body, you will not only feel better, you will also think better and clearer. You are ready to open up to new things when you feel fresh. So grab that soap and scrub. If that's not enough to calm you down, clean your toilet as well. Trust me, it works. It worked for me. Scrub from your toilet bowl, your sink to the inner part of the head of your shower. Nothing beats a clean toilet, It'll definitely put a smile on your face. Still not good enough? Clean your room. sweep under the bed, wipe the book cabinet and reorganise your wardrobe. By seing pretty, neat and organised things, you yourself become neat and organised.

Step 3: Gazing at the beautiful and reorganised room you have just produce with your own bare hands, Take A Nap. After working so hard cleaning, rest yourself. Put yourself into sleep for an hour or two.

Step 4: Blog about the accomplishment of your day. Sharing is a wonderful feeling. So share your experience and tell people how it makes you feel about it. It not only draws a better picture to others but also the most, to yourself. You will then understand in dept what you are doing and why?

Step 5: Go out, have fun. Go party with some friends. If partying is not your thing then go shopping. No money? no matter!just try the garments and take pictures in the dressing room. Pose like the world is yours. It's no harm obsessing about yourself.(ehemm, not excessively) If shopping is also not your thing, go get a haircut and a facial. Feel beautiful! When you are able to feel beautiful, you are more confident with yourself. You believe that you can do anything. You believe in yourself. You can't expect the world to believe in you and give you all the opportunities and success if you yourself don't believe in yourself. Everything start with YOU.

Step 6: Sit and think. Decide what you want to do later on and how to do it better than before. Think of the matter that initiated the depression and resolve by finding ways to avoid it in the future. What is done is done. You cannot turn back. But you can find ways to face what is ahead. Do not get mad and question people of their wrongs, question yourself how to overcome it. Be resourceful, nobody likes a sour grape who complains all the time.

Step 7: Execution of ideas.Start with a step. Slowly and steadily. Jangan gelojoh la pendek kata. Nanti yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran.

Step 8: Celebrate upon completion of mission. Treat yourself to a new pair of shoes or a party dress or just a cup of Baskin Robbins. Yummy...

My Favourite Dishes

2008-12-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

And of course, my most favourite of the bunch, most sexy, most handsome, most alluring most mouth-watering would be...

Tagged by Ayesha

2008-12-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

1. Name a person. What is the relationship of you and him/her?
Megat Amirul Zameer. Friends.

2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her
Hitam, Irresponsible, caring, adorable, funny

3. The most memorable things he/she had done for you?
gave me cake, chocolates and a balloon on Valentine's day. (definitely cheered me up a little)

4. The most memorable things he/she have said to you?
Kau ni cute ahh.

5. If he/she become your lover, you will..
have other lovers..lol!

6. If he/she become your enemy, you will..
not care about him??

7. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on...
his faithfulness.

8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason is...
he lied??

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?
talk about partners.

10. The overall impression of him/her..
straight

11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
boring and quiet.

12. The character of you like for yourself is?
patient

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
cry-baby and not confident

14. The most person that you wanna be is?
jimmy choo

15. For the people who care about and likes you, say something to them.
awwwhh, i like you too !

16. Ten people to tag:-
1 Amirah Anis
2 Amira Najua
3 Haziq Ramli
4 Izzaty
5 Hannah Hisham
6 Shahril Naim
7 Majin
8 Nurjannah Iman
9 Afeez Aziz
10 Shazwan Azizan

17. Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
Some guy, I guess, wawa said so recently

18. Is no. 3 a male or a female?
Male

19. If no. 7 and no. 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
They would be one VERY WEIRD couple

20. How about no. 5 and 8?
perhaps not

21. What is no. 1 studying about?
Medicine.

22. Is no. 4 single?
Yeap

23. Say something about no. 6.

I miss the old days..

Friends or Acquaintances

2008-12-22T01:50:00.000-08:00

Do not be friends with rats I tell you.
They will eat you up.
Don't talk so much with people who talk so much.
They too will crush you.
Do not date smooth-talkers I tell you.
They are lying fuckers!.

Just to talk of experience, people who are friendly with everybody,(I really mean EVERYBODY), they do not have a best friend. Thus, they are very confused and lonely. People who are obsessively and possessively clingy to their best friend( to the point of getting jealous and pissed if sms is not replied) are parasites and plain weird. In short, just pathetic.

Real good companions are the ones who accepts you, do not expect any reward or commitment but only respect from you. They are just plain matured beings. If so it happens otherwise, then accept the fact that you think way above them and they are not for you. Plain acquaintances is an acceptable way to classify them in your social network but BFFs?? Perhaps disagreeable.

In life we want many friends, deep in our hearts, we yearn to be popular amongst peers. Hence, we gradually groom ourselves bit by bit to be likable, fashionable, friendly, smart, funny and what not. To some, it is consciously, but to some other, it's the other. Everybody needs friends. Even the Prophet(peace be upon him), have many good friends, smart ones, Saidina Ali, brave and fierce ones, Saidina Umar and loyal ones, Saidina Abu Bakar. There are many motives why we somehow need friends. Just like there are many types of people in this hypocritic world.

Some people are like dogs. They're you're best friend. They're the sweetest thing. They're loyal and will never leave you. The reason why they need friends because they want love, care, and want somewhere to belong. Though, they seem to be dependent over you. They do not usually have a stand of what they want in you. They are not the people whom you should ask opinion on matters concerning yourself. They will answer politely and because they love you they will not want to hurt your feelings. Dogs, at a point may, I repeat, may be extremely possessive and overly jealous. They CAN be a burden if you are a person who is highly ambitious in life and hungry of new adventure and places to explore. Distance may snap the bond and friendship may be lost. Henceforth, if you are a person as mentioned and you have a dog friend, watch out.

If some are like dogs, then some are like cats. They're nice, cute and good company. But, if they suddenly decide that they somehow do not like you,or somehow you wronged them, they'll scratch you and you'll bear a scar for the rest of your life. The reason why they need friends is because, they need to. They need people to scratch their ears, stroke they're tummy and of course to feed them. You feed them once, and they'll want more. You start being nice to them, they're all over you. And the cycle goes on and on. I label them, the nomads. They are permanent migrates. They don't settle down with what they want, they don't even know what they want.

Then there're the good-for-nothing(except eating your food and making a mess) rats, the popular-oh-so-everybody-wants-to-be-friends-with peacocks, the friendly-but-appear-once in-a-decade dolphins and so much more. Pick the compatible ones to keep forever and the mismatches, accept them as they come and go.

I am hungry!

2008-12-19T02:04:00.000-08:00

Today is December the 19th, 6 day before Christmas, 8 days before PMR results are out(Good Luck Aina! and also dearest juniors of Vigor), 12 days before New Year's, and last but not least 17 days before I go back to my beloved ghost-town college, sheeesshhh. I am more than half way through my holidays and heck I haven't done anything but mindless activities , mindless talks, mindless sleeping, mindless sms-ing, mindless chats, mindless, gayut-ing, and finally, mindless indulging myself in movies, japanese dramas and Kimutaku.*sigh*

And may I ask, whatever happen "I will study during the holidays?", crap!, that didn 't happen! Errr, except for my latest not-so-bersungguh attempt to study history about an hour ago. I must have gotten like 1/5 way through the sub-chapter. Anyhow, better than nothing perhaps.

I haven't gotten out of the house for like a week and I am dying. May I repeat, DYINGGG!!! suffocating !!! NAK MATI DAH!!!! No matter, I am determined to go out and do mindless habiskan duit very soon, so watch out SALE, here I come. Plus I am ever so craving for Manhattan Fish Market and Secret Recipe's Prawn Pasta.God! I am already drooling..

By the way, last week, I restyled my hair. I got it cut and coloured.My hair was getting really big and heavy(literally!) so I thought of chopping it off. I innitially wanted to let it grow long to the waist but before it was long enough to even touch my bra strap, I got ever so RIMAS!!!lol

This Boy

2008-12-16T01:07:00.000-08:00

This boy wants to play
There's no time left today
It's a shame cause he has to go home
This boy's got to work, got to sweat
Just to pay what he gets to get left all alone

But let's step outside
Let's go for a ride just for a while
No we won't get caught
Well that's what I thought until we cried

I'm still here
But it hasn't been easy
I'm sure
That you had your reasons
I'm scared
Of all this emotion
For years I've been holding it down
For years I've been holding it down

This girl tries her best every day
But it's all gone to waste
Cause there's no one around
This girl she can draw she can paint
Likes to dance she can skate
Now she don't make a sound

We'll play in the park until it's too dark for us to see
Well we'll make our way home
With mud on our clothes
She won't be pleased

For years I've been holding it down
And I'd love to forgive and forget
So I'll try to put all this behind us
Just know that my arms are wide open
The older I get the more that I know
Well it's time to let this go

I got to let it go
I got to let it go
I got to let it go

 I got to let it go

Why not??

2008-12-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

When I was little, I thought that one should never marry more than one. Perhaps then I believed in true love's kiss, happily ever after and some other cheesy corny stuff. Heh. Well, most 6 year-olds do anyways. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, Snow White, all display an ideal picture of a relationship between a man and a woman. The story will start with man meets maiden, love at first sight, attraction, sing along, dance dance and step mother intervenes, a monster appear ,kidnaps poor maiden in distress until is rescued by prince charming and lips will meet and there you have..True Love's Kiss. And they Live Happily Ever After... tadaaaa.

But that doesn't happen in the real world, or does it?

In reality, happilly ever after will most probably happen if you die early. True Love's Kiss is probably True Lust Kiss. The only prince-saves-princess scene you'll ever go through is by settling all her loans, or.... the other way round. So, does Happily Ever After really exist or is it just an illusion for children as a cover-up to the ugly world they're about to face so that they won't kill themsleves before puberty? okay, the suicide part is a bit exaggerated, but it's just an expression. You get what I mean, to keep them moving on. As a drive to ditch Power Rangers and Sailormoon and grow up.

Perhaps...

But my dears, fairytales do exist in the real world and miracles do happen. Look closely.
Firstly, when you wake up, run downstairs, eat breakfast and you meet your mom and you remember how she brought you up with unconditionallove, with no regrets giving birth to you, puting up with your childish tantrums,entertaining your unlimited continuously wants and needs that she knows you don't really need. Though so, because she loves you, she will give her best because she wouldn't want you to be unhappy and put up a monyok face. Wow, she really is something isn't she? And perhaps That Ladies and Gentlemen, I would say is true love. True REAL Unconditional Pure LOVE.

So, how about that boy-girl relationship love you ask?

Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that true love is when you can accept him in and out, good and bad. You accept his/her qualities with wishes they might be of your own and you accept his/her flaws and ready yourself to better him/her. At the same time you are compassionate towards him/her. You care if they do not wear their seat-belts not because you don't want the trouble of getting a ticket but because you care about their safety. You care if they are late for a date not because they are taking your sleeping time but because you are worried they might have gotten into trouble. And so forth. Furthermore, it is plus point if you are dead attracted to them, sexually. I mean, that's the 'fun' part right?? Then again, if you love them, automatically you'll be attracted to them.You get butterflies, when you see them, you can't help yourself from smiling, you think he/she has the best smile in the world and when they talk to you, you concentrate on even the tiniest detail. You want them, and because you love them, you want to make them the luckiest person on earth. And what do you have to offer? YOURSELF, in and out baby.

Sounds familiar??
It's your first teenage love. It was real alright. I know mine was. It didn't last long but while it lasted hell I KNOW it was bloody real. No deceits, no hypocrisy, no bills to pay, no office work in your way, no family responsibilities, just young and pure love.

As you get older,
Things get messier, responsibilities pile up and relationships gets complicated. You still go through whatever that I have mention previously only this time it mixes up with bills, house loans, car loans, baby dypers, and sexy secretaries. Shake shake shake and you will get bad tempers, ugly mood swings, screaming, shouting, hitting or a nicer way to say "I am bored with you but if I get rid of you I look like a complete asshole" ,polygamy.

Polygamy=any form of marriage in which a person has more than one spouse.

As a muslim, I find nothing wrong about it if you can afford it. Like why not right?
There was a period in my life when I thought, "why not, I could give polygamy a try." But then, I just broke up with a previous boyfriend and for quite a while I stopped believing in men. I started thinking you can only 'love' a man for a certain period of time. The period after that is only for the sake of your responsibility and your children. Now, I'm in between, neither agree with it or against it. I guess I'm one VERY confused girl.

So with that, pops another question. So, no Happily Ever After?? No eternal love? No "Aku cinta padamu sampai mati"? Tapi kalau kita dah tak sayang suami kita, biarlah dia nak kahwin seribu pon. Kita jaga anak, focus on our career, enough to make ourselves happy. In short, macam ni la, Happily Ever After might not last very long on one particular element. One time it might be with your studies, the next your marriage and a couple of years after that, children and what not, but while it last, enjoy it, savour it, take pictures of it. Things grow,bloom, rot, decomposes and the rest is baja. We consume the baja as knowledge and experience and we become wiser after that.

However, it might turn out the other way round and fairytale might happen. I believe in miracles. Most of my good encounters, I believe are miracles. Meaning, I might find my Prince Charming and Live Happily Ever After. Or... I might already have....=)

Shafiq Haizam Kamil

2008-12-05T02:26:00.000-08:00

~FUTURE~

2008-12-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

My Plan

1. Study during the holidays
2. Start a fresh new semester with more effort and attention in class.
3. Do well in college.
4. Get the freaking As
5. Get into a good UK university.
6. Have fun in university
7. Work hard and attain a good solid degree.
8. Kalau best, buat masters.
9. Otherwise, come back and work.
10. Be a fashionable workoholic
11. Save money for:

i. sara diri
ii. invest on a land
iii. sara mama and ayah
iv. maintain whatever current harta
v. future children's education
vi. self future education(designing babehh!!)

12. Quit job
13. further post-graduate studies--> advertising/fashion*woohhhohh*
14. Become a designer/entrepreneur
15. Create my own fashion line/brand.
16. Be able to put a dress on a NY runway
17. Go Haji
18. Retire in a state/place away from urbanity
19. Do community service-teach children art
20. Always smile and have fun!=)

Have Dreams Will Travel

2008-11-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

Cassie: Are you mad at me?

Ben: Yeah

Cassie: Well, I don't like it.

Ben: Then start talking to me like a person.

Another movie, the reason I am filling up my time with watching movies is probably because I am dead bored and it's also an excuse why I shouldn't have nothing to do and start burying my head behind books of al-ilmiah.

So, here it is, Have Dream Will travel. A story about two 12 year olds leaving home crossing states trying to find Cassie's aunt in Baltimore.According to her, that was The Plan.(owh yeah, the kid's names are Cassie and Ben,hmmm) Along the way, they got married. I mean seriously, they got 'married'.*laughs* You'll understand once you've watched it. Later in the movie, Cassie's cheerful and bubbly attitude turned 180' into a quiet loner and gradually pulling herself away from everybody. Because of her 'new' character, she was sent to a psychiatric ward.

Ben was then sent to a military school but later broke himself out and tried to rescue Cassie out. And he did.=)

They spent their whole lives together with Ben becoming what he dreamt to be which was a professional baseball player until his hands could not pitch anymore, he became a writer and Cassie grew to be children's book editor, and they had two children exactly as they planned.

As quoted by Cassie,
"Most people really do need a Plan, life is crazy enough without one"

Keith

2008-11-29T21:26:00.001-08:00

I wonder how many people actually know of the existence of this movie. Keith is an independent movie directed by Todd Kessler. The film stars Jesse McCartney and Elisabeth Harnois. Well, to start it off, I have never been a fan of Jesse McCartney until yesterday, when I watched the movie.GAWDDD,I LOVE HIM!!!! Yes, I know, I fall in love with EVERYBODY!!!! Lols! As for rating, I would give a 7/10, considering it has a very short plot and it's quite similar to A Walk to Remember but only this one, the guy dies in the end.(oops, I've just spoiled it for you) And may I say Keith the movie is a bit less ooweee goowiee,more hungry 'vulgar' making-out/sex scenes though the hero may be a bit irritating at first, but the movie has a heartwarming ending indeed.

The story revolves around Natalie, a girl who has it all, looks, wits, she is a champion tennis player, she has a scholarship and a hot boyfriend until he met Keith. They were chemistry lab partners. So one day, they had to do a report so Natalie came looking for Keith and Keith invited her into his yellow truck.(keith is a grease monkey) While doing their report together, Keith brought Natalie into a big company building and showed Natalie a 'carefree' world with no worries of consequences. Everything were like imaginary games, make-beliefs or whatever we desire. 'The sky is the limit" as quoted by Keith.

In time, as they were spending more and more time together, as friends, Natalie slowly fell in love with Keith and gradually pushed Raff, her soccer player boyfriend away. Until one day, she found antidepressent pills in Keith's jacket which made her confront Keith, Keith refuses to see her because of the recent fight they had. Natalie eventually found out that Keith had cancer from the Keith's medical counsellor which Natalie thought was his neighbour.

At this point, Keith constantly pushed Natalie away but she just kept coming and coming. I love this part!!! She never gave up for what she believed in. Although, it was stupid of her disregarding her studies, being rude to her parents and abandoning her boyfriend because of Keith.

In the end, Keith eventually died although there was never a part in the movie where he actually told Natalie how he felt. Audience kinda have to figure it out themselves. There were only parts where he 'showed' he wanted her by making love at the back of his yellow truck, yummy!!. But somehow, sex doesn't mean anything do they? I think it was Jesse's expression that potrayed the idea that he had a crush on her. Perhaps. Otherwise, if they didn't love each other, it would have been a very very sickening story.

Natalie took over Keith's yellow truck and she herself became a grease monkey herself despite her being disgusted at the beginning of the movie.

Honestly,I mean seriously, it was actually a STUPID movie with an ILLOGICAL plot. Natalie was IRRATIONAL and Keith was a nutcase freak. Although, it has message beneath it all.

At the end of the movie, Natalie was on the road driving the yellow truck and arriving at a junction of a cross-road. That was when, i figured out the metaphoric meaning of that scene, hence, the whole story.

When ariving at a crossroad, you look left and right before driving off to our destination.ie. In life, look around you,some things/people may not play a roll in you or your objectives in life but they will definitely teach you something, like in the movie, how to observe the world in a different perspective, how to have fun and how life is not about you and what you want.

Life is a long marathon of adventures, don't miss a checkpoint, if not, your run won't mean anything at the finishing line.

POYO? I know.

2008-11-29T01:40:00.000-08:00

I was reading a comic book when I found this particular phrase very much amusing. A very simple, common but but not to the extent that we here it everyday. Well, honestly, I just found it rather 'cool'. It goes:-

"Don't fuck with me IDIOT!!!"

in Malay, it might have meant...

"Jangan kau nak bangsat ngan aku pukimak!

Perhaps I am lame and haven't seen the real and vulgar world but while I am in my protected and shielded aquarium, I might as well. LOL!

New Soul

2008-11-25T10:20:00.000-08:00

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la

See I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la

This is a happy end
Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

New soul... (la, la, la, la,...)
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...